I love that you’ve helped your step daughter learn so much! Sharing with her patience and kindness.
I noticed that working on my book is making me feel tired this week. So I put it down.
Good job, because I’ve come down with cold. So though the voices are quietly there, still piping away a little, it feels good to have made space for what was to come. Which means I got what I needed to get done, done.
The trick of trying to balance it all!🩵
p.s. thanks for my post card. I’ve been meaning to message forever. It’s got a place on my family kitchen Vision board. Which has come out with a lot of blues on it. So your blue watery postcard (representing openness and expansiveness) has made a great addition 😍
I love how honest you are and it helps me be honest with myself, too. Someone asked me yesterday why I’m so burnt out and why she hasn’t seen me in weeks. I stopped. Burnt out?! That’s extreme until I stop and realize. Yes, I am burnt out.
I’m taking Friday off to look into a job opportunity someone suggested to me. I’ve bee trying to make this new position work so hard but the perpetual grief when ignored by former bosses until they need to know how I did something. When the person who took my job came up to say someone asked where I was. She has my old office. The vice president explaining on Friday the restructuring and me being moved. I felt so sad and it’s not the first time. Why do I keep making excuses for my organization? It’s not okay anymore. That’s what I am realizing. I credit this to you and others I follow who suggest journaling. It’s opened my eyes. In the meantime, I keep my head down and so my job to have income but yes. This heaviness is not okay.
Thank you for saying that. I’ve felt do petty for feeling like this but someone asked about my job today and the icky feelings immediately consumed me. I am so happy for you!!
It’s definitely a time to be scared and worried. I always appreciate your honesty in these posts - it’s hard to put a face on right now and your “not having a normal Cait” week is genuine and to be expected.
And I hear you about the historical fiction genre. I’m reading more and more for escapism these days and if anything is even remotely like our current times, it’s not the book for me right now. I feel that way about tv shows. I loved political thrillers but now it’s too on the nose.
Thanks for your note here, friend. It feels like a good reminder for *anyone* to practice self-compassion, if they aren't themselves right now! And yes, I can tell you that I have DNF'd one historical fiction novel already. In general, I don't think wartime books are "for me"—but especially not at this time.
As soon as I saw this fountain I was reminded of how much I want a fountain! But where would I put it?! Oh to dream! But I will put them in my hummingbird garden and hope all the birds can enjoy! I had to enlarge the little sign in the fountain! No Entry! As I read your post I thought...oh...maybe this is to illustrate the intrusive thoughts Cait is having! I'm going to do art therapy around this beautiful fountain and the funny little sign! Maybe I'll add my own intrusive thoughts. Sigh. And your reminder...Name it. Come back to myself. Over and over and over again. You are making a difference Cait. And that means everything. Just ask that lucky little one who got to help you clean and fill up your car!🏆🥰💝🎉🥇
I hadn't even thought about the sign, but your symbolism for it is gorgeous, friend! No entry to our intrusive thoughts. I love that. Thank you for noticing and sharing! I hope the art therapy session was a good one for you ☺️
I've been very anxious during the last two weeks. Reading the news, listening to podcasts, trying to understand, but that's not enough and it's heavy. There's a lack of stability in the world and in my professional life. While I keep looking for new opportunities, I continue to enjoy cooking and dancing.
"There's a lack of stability." That's exactly it, Katherin. And there's a weight to it. I'm sorry this feels true in your professional life too (being a writer feels the same). It made me smile to think you are dancing your way through it all ☺️
I noticed the peace I feel despite what is going on in that world. I am still allowed to feel peace despite it all. Having worked through so much in my life it's wonderful to notice when you are just fully present and not in constant havoc. I love that you've moved in with TM & do please keep sharing the experiences you have as a step mum. I am childfree with my partner but once on mother's day I spent it with my in-laws and as we were leaving my nephew was waving us off telling me "Happy Mother's Day!" It was so cute.. he has told me I am one of his favourite people that he loves. Being there for any child through any emotion feels good to me. Hope you have a wonderful week Cait ☺️
YES to being allowed to feel peace! I'm so glad you're experiencing that, friend. I'm still finding it in the small moments of the day. The feel of the cat's extra soft fur when I pet her, the surprise of the birds coming to the window looking for food, and them not being afraid of me outside anymore either. And spotting the bees really has been a joy!
And I'm sure you can imagine I'm still trying to figure out what I feel comfortable sharing about the kids. I'm trying not to say too much about THEM, for their own privacy and autonomy. But yes, to reflect some of what I experience being one of the adults in their lives... that feels good and right for me. ☺️
I loved what you said at the end Cait - that you didn’t need to make it mean more than it did. I shall take that and apply to my own busy brain right now. xx
I'm so glad it was helpful in some way, friend. It feels like a distracted mind is exactly right, for what's happening and then spending any time consuming media/content or having conversations about it. It's a lot to be thinking about. (Also, it's always lovely to see your name here. I wish we were closer and could meet!)
Ah thank you. I have been Substack-absent due to moving house! As you'll know, it's never straight-forward, is it? We're still down south, but if you're ever in or around Oxfordshire let me know :) xx
I noticed that I'm afraid of being taken advantage of and how I link this to things that have happened but need to let go of where that shows up in my life now because it is irrelevant!
When I swam in the cold lake this morning I also noticed the colour of the light through the water creating my favourite kind of green even on a dull as dull can be day ♥️
I like pieces like this because they slow things down. Most writing online is trying to say something big or urgent, but this kind of observation feels closer to how life actually unfolds. Small moments, small routines, and suddenly you notice something about yourself or about the people around you.
Reading this reminded me a bit of something I wrote recently about noticing patterns in ordinary moments while traveling. When you move through different places all the time, the big sights are obvious, but the things that stay with you are often the quiet ones. A short walk, a small conversation, some routine that suddenly carries a memory.
Your writing captures that feeling well. It makes the ordinary moment feel worth paying attention to.
That is so true, it made me slow down too, and it was much needed. I have felt so tired for a couple of days and I don't seem to be able to shake it off... I am planning a slow evening just for myself and a good night of sleep, I hope it will help!
I too have spent the last few weeks highly distracted, anxious, and unable to focus or write-which is quite the struggle since I have a major research paper due in two days and I leave for a 4 day trip that same day 😅
Thank you for the reminder that I don’t need to judge myself, but simply notice it, name it, sit with it, and maybe tell a friend- over and over again. No matter how many times I learn this I could still benefit from hearing someone else remind me every day ☺️
I'm noticing a lot of relief at having the opportunity to step away from work, or spending less time at my laptop, and it's interesting enough to me I'm feeling this way that I'm really going to sit with it and figure out what is really happening underneath it. I also don't think you're alone in not having a "normal" week, so not sure how much of a comfort that is.
I love that you’ve helped your step daughter learn so much! Sharing with her patience and kindness.
I noticed that working on my book is making me feel tired this week. So I put it down.
Good job, because I’ve come down with cold. So though the voices are quietly there, still piping away a little, it feels good to have made space for what was to come. Which means I got what I needed to get done, done.
The trick of trying to balance it all!🩵
p.s. thanks for my post card. I’ve been meaning to message forever. It’s got a place on my family kitchen Vision board. Which has come out with a lot of blues on it. So your blue watery postcard (representing openness and expansiveness) has made a great addition 😍
Ooo I love that the blue postcard has found some meaning in your home, friend! And it sounds like you took good care of yourself this past week ☺️
I love how honest you are and it helps me be honest with myself, too. Someone asked me yesterday why I’m so burnt out and why she hasn’t seen me in weeks. I stopped. Burnt out?! That’s extreme until I stop and realize. Yes, I am burnt out.
I’m taking Friday off to look into a job opportunity someone suggested to me. I’ve bee trying to make this new position work so hard but the perpetual grief when ignored by former bosses until they need to know how I did something. When the person who took my job came up to say someone asked where I was. She has my old office. The vice president explaining on Friday the restructuring and me being moved. I felt so sad and it’s not the first time. Why do I keep making excuses for my organization? It’s not okay anymore. That’s what I am realizing. I credit this to you and others I follow who suggest journaling. It’s opened my eyes. In the meantime, I keep my head down and so my job to have income but yes. This heaviness is not okay.
I hope you can walk away and find a wonderful new opportunity. I did. And it made all the difference.💝
Thank you for saying that. I’ve felt do petty for feeling like this but someone asked about my job today and the icky feelings immediately consumed me. I am so happy for you!!
I understand. Sending you lots of courage and hope.💝
Thank you so much!!! Running a little short in both currently.
It’s definitely a time to be scared and worried. I always appreciate your honesty in these posts - it’s hard to put a face on right now and your “not having a normal Cait” week is genuine and to be expected.
And I hear you about the historical fiction genre. I’m reading more and more for escapism these days and if anything is even remotely like our current times, it’s not the book for me right now. I feel that way about tv shows. I loved political thrillers but now it’s too on the nose.
Thanks for your note here, friend. It feels like a good reminder for *anyone* to practice self-compassion, if they aren't themselves right now! And yes, I can tell you that I have DNF'd one historical fiction novel already. In general, I don't think wartime books are "for me"—but especially not at this time.
As soon as I saw this fountain I was reminded of how much I want a fountain! But where would I put it?! Oh to dream! But I will put them in my hummingbird garden and hope all the birds can enjoy! I had to enlarge the little sign in the fountain! No Entry! As I read your post I thought...oh...maybe this is to illustrate the intrusive thoughts Cait is having! I'm going to do art therapy around this beautiful fountain and the funny little sign! Maybe I'll add my own intrusive thoughts. Sigh. And your reminder...Name it. Come back to myself. Over and over and over again. You are making a difference Cait. And that means everything. Just ask that lucky little one who got to help you clean and fill up your car!🏆🥰💝🎉🥇
I hadn't even thought about the sign, but your symbolism for it is gorgeous, friend! No entry to our intrusive thoughts. I love that. Thank you for noticing and sharing! I hope the art therapy session was a good one for you ☺️
I've been very anxious during the last two weeks. Reading the news, listening to podcasts, trying to understand, but that's not enough and it's heavy. There's a lack of stability in the world and in my professional life. While I keep looking for new opportunities, I continue to enjoy cooking and dancing.
"There's a lack of stability." That's exactly it, Katherin. And there's a weight to it. I'm sorry this feels true in your professional life too (being a writer feels the same). It made me smile to think you are dancing your way through it all ☺️
I noticed the peace I feel despite what is going on in that world. I am still allowed to feel peace despite it all. Having worked through so much in my life it's wonderful to notice when you are just fully present and not in constant havoc. I love that you've moved in with TM & do please keep sharing the experiences you have as a step mum. I am childfree with my partner but once on mother's day I spent it with my in-laws and as we were leaving my nephew was waving us off telling me "Happy Mother's Day!" It was so cute.. he has told me I am one of his favourite people that he loves. Being there for any child through any emotion feels good to me. Hope you have a wonderful week Cait ☺️
YES to being allowed to feel peace! I'm so glad you're experiencing that, friend. I'm still finding it in the small moments of the day. The feel of the cat's extra soft fur when I pet her, the surprise of the birds coming to the window looking for food, and them not being afraid of me outside anymore either. And spotting the bees really has been a joy!
And I'm sure you can imagine I'm still trying to figure out what I feel comfortable sharing about the kids. I'm trying not to say too much about THEM, for their own privacy and autonomy. But yes, to reflect some of what I experience being one of the adults in their lives... that feels good and right for me. ☺️
I loved what you said at the end Cait - that you didn’t need to make it mean more than it did. I shall take that and apply to my own busy brain right now. xx
I'm so glad it was helpful in some way, friend. It feels like a distracted mind is exactly right, for what's happening and then spending any time consuming media/content or having conversations about it. It's a lot to be thinking about. (Also, it's always lovely to see your name here. I wish we were closer and could meet!)
Ah thank you. I have been Substack-absent due to moving house! As you'll know, it's never straight-forward, is it? We're still down south, but if you're ever in or around Oxfordshire let me know :) xx
I noticed that I'm afraid of being taken advantage of and how I link this to things that have happened but need to let go of where that shows up in my life now because it is irrelevant!
When I swam in the cold lake this morning I also noticed the colour of the light through the water creating my favourite kind of green even on a dull as dull can be day ♥️
Thanks for your post Cait ♥️
I like pieces like this because they slow things down. Most writing online is trying to say something big or urgent, but this kind of observation feels closer to how life actually unfolds. Small moments, small routines, and suddenly you notice something about yourself or about the people around you.
Reading this reminded me a bit of something I wrote recently about noticing patterns in ordinary moments while traveling. When you move through different places all the time, the big sights are obvious, but the things that stay with you are often the quiet ones. A short walk, a small conversation, some routine that suddenly carries a memory.
Your writing captures that feeling well. It makes the ordinary moment feel worth paying attention to.
That is so true, it made me slow down too, and it was much needed. I have felt so tired for a couple of days and I don't seem to be able to shake it off... I am planning a slow evening just for myself and a good night of sleep, I hope it will help!
That sounds like exactly what you need. Sometimes the only thing that actually helps is slowing things down enough for your system to catch up again.
This is just what I needed to read today.
I too have spent the last few weeks highly distracted, anxious, and unable to focus or write-which is quite the struggle since I have a major research paper due in two days and I leave for a 4 day trip that same day 😅
Thank you for the reminder that I don’t need to judge myself, but simply notice it, name it, sit with it, and maybe tell a friend- over and over again. No matter how many times I learn this I could still benefit from hearing someone else remind me every day ☺️
Hugs from Canada 🩵
I'm noticing a lot of relief at having the opportunity to step away from work, or spending less time at my laptop, and it's interesting enough to me I'm feeling this way that I'm really going to sit with it and figure out what is really happening underneath it. I also don't think you're alone in not having a "normal" week, so not sure how much of a comfort that is.