A family kind of love
Moments from my wild and spectating life (April 26-May 2)
Hi friend! If you’re new here: most weeks, I send out a little dispatch from my daily life in the UK. It’s a collection of stories and things I’ve noticed—at home, in books, on my walks, in the world, and within myself. I send them all from The Lighthouse. My hope is they feel reflective and calming, and inspire you to notice more in your own life. Writing them certainly helps me notice more in mine… 🕯
April 26, 2025
We wake up to the sound of a fire alarm. It takes a few loud BEEP BEEP BEEPS to remember where I am. I’m in a hotel room in London with Tall Man. And the fire alarm is going off. We need to get UP. We race to our bags, me throwing clothes all over to find a freaking pair of socks. Where are my freaking socks! I pull on a tank top (inside out and backwards) and leggings, and zip up my fleece (might be cold out). With every beep beep beep, I keep wondering if this will be a mistake and the fire alarm will turn off, but it does not. I think we might be outside for a while. Within a minute, we’re dressed and ready. TM grabs our phones, I grab our Garmin watches. And then it stops. The fire alarm… stops. There’s just a loud ringing leftover in my ears.
I open the hotel room door and briefly chat with two women in the hallway. “There’s no fire,” one woman tells us. “It was for one person’s room but they couldn’t figure out how to turn the others off.” Up and down the hall, there are sighs of relief and annoyance. We are mostly just relieved. I look at my watch and see it’s 5:30am. There’s time to get more sleep—and we do. But as I lay there, I can’t help but reflect on what I just learned about us and our relationship.
We did all of that in silence. While the fire alarm was going off, we did not communicate. We just moved—doing the same things, at the same pace. We only seemed to cared about two things: getting dressed and grabbing our tech. And even when we found out it was all a mistake, we didn’t really grumble. We just took our street clothes off and got back into bed. There are many moments in a relationship when you can test how compatible you are, and hopefully not so many of them are in a crisis. But also: how do you both handle a crisis? Separately and together? This answered the question of how we would both handle a potential fire in a hotel: the exact same way.
As for why we are here? Well… Tall Man is running the London Marathon tomorrow. ☺️
April 27, 2025
It’s 10:08am and I’m outside King’s Cross Station hugging my friend Tom. He’s decided to join me as I bounce all over the city to try to see TM run the marathon, and I’m grateful to have his company but mostly grateful for this moment. This hug. The last time I was in London was in November 2019, just 10 days after what happened in Wales, and the last thing I did here was cry and hug Tom goodbye. Now we are hugging hello and it feels so good to see him here—and under such fun circumstances!
It’s 11:35am and we’ve made our way to the first spotting location—in Wapping, at the halfway mark (13 miles/21 km). The spectator guide said this would be a quieter area, easier to find your runner in, and they were right. We get a spot right along the fence. I check the marathon’s app and see that TM is estimated to run by at 12:02pm. The excitement of the day and this moment finally kicks in!
It’s 11:52am and we’ve settled into our spot and the energy of the crowds. I’ve spectated the two half-marathons TM has done in 2022/23, and was at the finish line of the ultra he did last year. The ultra was quieter. But the sound and energy of being amongst the spectators at these big events is incredible. People are cheering constantly, and yelling out the names on runner’s shirts and bibs, to give anyone who might need it a little boost of support. We join in, and laugh at some of the costumes we see runners wearing too. I look down at my watch. “10 minutes to go!!!” I do this countdown every 1-2 minutes. At 11:59am, I’m on the tips of my toes, looking into the distance, desperate to not miss him.
It’s 12:02pm and I see TM coming and I am SCREAMING his name! He sees me and smiles and comes over, says he loves me and kisses me, and then he’s off again. He looks GOOD—meaning, he’s just run a half-marathon and he looks like he’s happily cruising along. And just as fast as he’s off, we leave to travel to our next location: the opposite side of the street. We have to take the underground to get there, lol.
We get to the other side at 1pm and it is SO CROWDED. I walk up and down the street looking for any empty spots at the fence, and it feels like an impossible task. I ask people if I can squeeze in for the 3-minute window in which I know TM will pass by and everyone says no. There will be no second kiss. But at 1:12pm, from a couple rows back from the fence, I see him again and scream his name and he sees me and makes a heart shape with his hands. He’s at the 22 mile (35 km) mark. Only 4 miles to go and he is CRUSHING his first marathon and I am SO PROUD OF HIM. Tom and I get back on the underground and head to the end. TM is too fast for us to catch him at the finish line (I keep all things TM-related private, but will say he ran it at a very sub-4 hour pace which is a huge physical achievement), but we agreed on where to meet ahead of time.
Shortly after 2pm, we are walking up to the meeting point and I see him sitting on the ground. Now I’m the one who is running. 😍😍😍
April 28, 2025
I’m back at The Lighthouse. I got a few things done this morning, but now it’s early afternoon and my brain feels foggy and I decide to just stop. I need a recovery day of my own. I didn’t run a marathon, but supporting a runner is a different kind of job. Driving and taking a dozen+ trains and navigating a big city and even bigger crowds. That was a whirlwind of a weekend (in which I was also on day 1 + 2 of my period) and I am TIRED. I let myself lean into it and relax.
April 29, 2025
It’s 7:43pm and I’m sitting in a theatre where the preteen in my life is about to do a solo performance on stage. I am filled with the same excited energy I felt for TM two days ago. This is my first time attending one of the kids’ big events, and I know the hard work that went into it, and I am already proud. But then I watch the performance and I am in awe. The woman next to me seems to feel the same, because she is putting her hand to her chest and gently swaying with the music. The preteen’s performance is moving her. This whole experience moves me in a way I haven’t felt before. I’m feeling things about a kid who isn’t mine but also is part of my life that I haven’t felt before. Being an adult-but-not-quite-a-stepparent is one of the most challenging roles to navigate sometimes, but this feeling… it feels like a family kind of love. This week has been full of it.
April 30, 2025
I go out to the garden and the first thing I notice is a big fluffy bumble bee on the patio. It does not look good. I think it’s probably going to die but I find something flat to pick it up with anyway, and I place it inside an open tulip. Maybe it just needs some pollen, I think and know I’m probably wrong. Or maybe it needs some water, which probably isn’t right either. Still, I get the hose and put a little bit of water in my hand, then slowly dribble a few droplets into the bottom of the tulip. Just in case. It is a warm day, after all.
A few hours later, I go back outside and find the bumble bee dead on its back. I feel sad. Then I look at the tulip again and think what a beautiful final resting place that would be. Can you imagine being cradled by the petals of a flower?
May 1, 2025
Finally, a good writing morning! It’s mid-morning and I’m riding the high of how good it feels when words form sentences you actually like. Then I check the weather and see it’s already 19°C (66°F) and going up to 23°C (73°F), and decide I’m taking the rest of the day off! This weather is SO RARE in the UK, it needs to be enjoyed, And I do, friend. I spend hours in the garden. I go for coffee and lunch at my coffee shop. I meet TM for a rare mid-afternoon-on-a-weekday walk. I soak up this beautiful day.
When I’m getting ready for bed, I take off my watch and discover a tiny bit of a tan line on my wrist. It’s hardly noticeable. More like when a white wall starts to look cream-coloured but it’s really just dirty, lol. But it feels like a sign of summer, and makes me feel hopeful for more.
May 2, 2025
I go downstairs to make coffee and see Birdy on the patio. I open the window to say hello to her (you should not be surprised I talk to these animals) and I am met with the smell of the lilacs. The lilac bush in my garden has exploded this week. It looks heavy with weight but glorious in the sun, and I can smell it from 15+ feet away. It’s a little cooler this morning, but still beautiful, so I wait and then bring my second cup of coffee out to the patio. I listen to all the birds, and watch the few who dare to come around while there’s a human in their area. And then I hear a familiar sound, but one I haven’t heard here before: hens laying eggs. It seems one of my neighbours must have got them! The sound transports me to my dad’s backyard, where I also drink my morning coffee on summer visits. I listen as they squawk and feel like I’m in Victoria.
What have you noticed in your part of the world this week, friend?
xx Cait
It's been a beautiful week in Seattle.
I continue to walk and explore different neighborhoods and one day last week walked ten freakin' miles.
Last week I went to a local bookstore and met writer Amanda Knox for the second time where she had a book reading and she talked to the audience about her time in an Italian prison. She now has two children and looks incredible.
I haven't driven my car since November and decided to start it up a few days ago and it was dead so called AAA to give me a jump start. It was so dusty I made an appointment to have it detailed on Monday. I plan to drive to small towns in WA state and explore and am so excited to get out of the city. I did spend a month in Ireland last fall but have stayed in Seattle since then and need to push myself to get out of the city again.
Hi Cait!
Well, my friend, in reading your latest dispatch it sure looks like you've been having an event filled week just passed. Spring is a great time to get active outside, is it not? Not to mention how the weather seems to change on a dime - one day cool and sunny, the next day unseasonably warm, and then later it becomes rainy perhaps.
The birds and squirrels around here sure love it, along with the odd raccoon that we sometimes hear on our roof at night, stomping around, which is enough to make my wife wake up and wonder if somehow the the critter has managed to get into our attic!
To which I yawn in reply: "No dear, no worries, he'll go away soon. Now go back to sleep." 😴
Anyway, I've been busy with yardwork duties, having already mowed my lawn twice now.
Early lawn seeding, fertilizing and aeration sure have made a difference this year. And so it goes ...
Hope you enjoy another great week ahead Cait and that your health has returned.