A different kind of lighthouse
Mini memoirs from my wild and well-lit life (December 13-19)
Hi friend,
If youāre new here: on Sundays, I send a collection of mini memoirs from my life in the UK. Each weekly dispatch is filled with stories and things Iāve noticedāat home, in books, on my walks, in the world, and within myself. My hope is they feel reflective and calming, and inspire you to notice more in your own life. Writing them certainly helps me notice more in mineā¦ šÆļø
This is my last newsletter of the year, and itās a special one. I hope you enjoy it! And I hope Tall Man enjoys it too. āŗļø
Saturday, December 13, 2025
Itās 3:50pm and the preteen and I are still at the dining room table. Weāve been sitting here for a couple hours, doing something weāve done a couple times already this season: painting Christmas cards for the neighbours. This isnāt a tradition. Weāve never painted cards for anyone before! So there was certainly no plan to eventually paint cards for all our neighbours. Back in November, I had just been watching some reels on Instagram of people painting Christmas trees, wreaths, snowflakes, etc. and thought: that looks fun. Then I setup my watercolours and laid out a bunch of brushes on the table as an invitation for anyone to join me. Something Iāve learned in this family is how important it is to not place demands on kids, but to create opportunities insteadāand just see if anyone picks up what youāre putting down. Iāve also learned that if I setup the paints, someone will eventually come paint with me! Iām never sitting here alone for longā¦
When we decide weāre done (for today), we add up how many cards weāve painted: 5 in total. Then I turn off the big light (that is: the main light on your ceiling), so I can take the picture above. Itās taken time, but I have finally figured out how all the lights work in this house, as well as which ones I like mostāand which ones to turn on/off for the best pictures. In order to take good pictures in the kitchen, you have to turn off the big light. But we hardly turn on the big light in any room, anywayā¦
Sunday, December 14, 2025
Itās Sunday night, and the end of a weekend with the kids. Tall Man is doing the rounds, helping everyone get to sleep. Iām in our room, laying on the bed with the cat. Iām going back and forth between looking at her and looking at the colourful Christmas lights on the wall behind her. Last month, I asked TM if we could put lights up again this year. That was something he did a couple Christmases ago and I loved how it made the room look and feel. He took my question on like an assignment, finding different lights for us to choose from and then stringing them up and around our mirrors, pictures, etc. Now every day, when I walk into our room to go to bed, there are Christmas lights on. And they usually stay on, until right before we fall asleepā¦
Monday, December 15, 2025
Iāve been out running errands all morning. Picking up library books, getting groceries, etc. I thought I might squeeze in a nice walk around my old town too, but it has been pouring rain the whole time. And it is dark out, my friend. So dark that, even though Iām coming home around noon, I can see most peopleās Christmas lights in our neighbourhood. There are the people who string lights through bushes, the people who hang Christmas decorations from trees, the people who wrap lights around trees (these are my favourite). And then thereās our house: where there are warm white fairy lights wrapped around our front door and window. Only ours arenāt Christmas lights. They are up and used all year-round. You could come over at Christmas or in March or July or September, and the lights would be on for you. It always looks like the warmest house on the street. šÆ
Tuesday, December 16, 2025
Itās 3:40pm and Iām walking up the stairs, when suddenly a few lights come on. A small lamp in the kitchen behind me, a lamp at the top of the stairs in front of me, and the Christmas lights in our bedroom. As you know, I like to keep a lot about TM private. But this is one example of how thoughtful he is: he has smart plugs all throughout the house, and has setup an automation for certain lights to come on at sunset, so the house never gets too darkā¦
Wednesday, December 17, 2025
Itās my favourite hour of the day: when I wake up, come downstairs, make my first cup of coffee, and read on the couch with Kitty. Because TM has smart plugs all throughout the house, I can use an app on my phone to turn lights on in any room. And more than any others, this is the room where I have a specific setup I like for this first hour of the day!
Typically, I turn on two of the small side lamps. But now that we have the Christmas tree, I only need that + one lamp to read. There is almost nothing I enjoy more than reading by a Christmas tree. I did it at my dadās house for years, did it at The Lighthouse, and now Iām doing it hereāand with the best company by my side.
Iāve started reading WILD DARK SHORE by Charlotte McConaghy this week. I havenāt finished any new adult fiction (just one middle grade novel), since writing this list a month ago. But I can already tell, I am going to be finishing this oneā¦
Friday, December 19, 2025
Itās 5pm and the preteen and I are back at the dining room table. This time, weāre putting icing on the nearly-100 sugar cookies I baked yesterday (most to give away). Eventually, TM comes in and turns the big light on, so he can start cooking dinner. Cooking + cleaning up are the two main reasons we will turn the big light on. And what Iām now realizing is that there is a reason behind every specific lighting setup in this house. They arenāt just for basic utility. Every light and automation has a purposeāand that purpose is usually to create the right ambiance and/or to meet specific sensory needs.
But thereās one lighting setup I donāt even notice anymore: the warm white fairy lights that are strung up around the kitchen and dining room. It was one of the first things I noticed in TMās house, when I started coming here back in 2022. I hadnāt seen that in anyoneās house before, or not that I could remember. And as someone who grew up in an extremely practical household, it stood out as something I never wouldāve thought to do. The fairy lights felt playful. Almost whimsical. They felt fun! And theyāand TMāhave taught me a lesson I didnāt know I desperately needed/wanted for myself: that youāre allowed to design your space. Not everything is āfrivolous,ā the details really do matter. They impact your senses, which can impact your mood, your sleep quality, and your experience of everyday life.
The fairy lights above us right now stay up all year-round. And they seem to just be onā¦ all the time!? (Iāve never turned them on or off, anyway.) Iāve been taking this tiny detail for granted, since moving in. But I wonāt anymore.
Moving out of The Lighthouse was a big deal for me, this year. I loved that little house and the town, and I felt so connected to nature and the seasonsāand myselfāthere.
This house doesnāt offer the exact same experience. But itās definitely the coziest place Iāve ever lived. ā¤ļø
This feels like a nice place to sign off for the year, friend. But Iāll see you back here in early January! Since sharing my desire for a year of more, Iāve continued to feel a buzz of energy about the year aheadā¦ and there is so much I want to write about and share with you.
So I wonāt be offline for too long! A couple weeks or so. Iāll be thinking of you, and am already looking forward to connecting in the new year. āŗļø
Take good care of yourself over the holidays, friend.
See you again soon!
xx Cait
Thank you for reading this little newsletter of mine. Iāve been writing online since 2010, and have always valued keeping my content clean (aka free of ads/sponsored content) so we can be present together. If you found calm, joy or inspiration from this, you can: like this post (click on the heart button), subscribe to read more or buy me a coffee! ā¤ļøā
Oh my gosh, Kitty IS SO CUTE. She must love her special morning time with you, reading near the Christmas tree. I love the hand-painted watercolor cards and the beautiful sugar cookies! Iām the same: light is so important to me. I have an electric candle in our bedroom that turns on & off at set times every evening, and it looks so real (without fear of it starting a fire). I absolutely love it! We also keep fairy lights up all year. They spark so much joy. Iāve realized that having my little twig tree with string lights helps so much during the dark time, so I put it up just after Thanksgiving with no ornaments. I decorated it last night while my partner played DJ. Iāll leave the Christmas decorations and ornaments up until New Yearās Day, and then Iāll un-decorate, BUT Iām going to leave the little tree with lights up until Imbolc. That way it will have fully cheered us through the dark season. šÆļø
Thanks to TM for the idea of smart plugs. We might have to try thatā¦
Iām wishing you and your family cozy, happy holidays!!! šā¤ļøšā¤ļøšā¤ļøš
Aww, what a delightful read in the midst of so many emails, so much dog sitting, cat sitting, and a really hard week holding things with friends and having one of our families at work suffer a deep tragedy that took someoneās life. This was all so light and cheery! Exactly what my overwhelmed heart needed! You sound so content and I am so happy for you! Merriest Christmas to you & Happiest New Year!!!