This is such a refreshing perspective. I can definitely relate. I’ve had periods that I couldn’t get enough of the stuff, and right now I think I’m in a season where I don’t feel a lot of need for it. I’m exploring other things like fiction books or politics or art and creativity. Getting outside and simply enjoying nature.
I think it’s good to get to a place of “done”. Because why do all of this healing work if it doesn’t get is back *into* living our precious lives?
Love everything about this. As someone who has a janky system using the notes app in her phone would love to know the notes app you're loving.. if you feel keen to share!
Thank you for another thought provoking read friend! I very much like this distinction of everyday self help and special occasion self help. Special occasion also has a positive spin, which I think takes away some of the... I don't know what word to use... guilt? shame? we may feel when we explore something related to self help.
I am very grateful for all the words you share with us. Wishing you a lovely week. 🩷🩷🩷
That's a great reflection of the term, friend! This also makes me wonder what the history of self-help is, and how it became something people feel shame in exploring. (This resonates, I used to feel that way too.)
100% co-sign on this! During the pandemic, “Insta-therapy” as I call it, was very popular and I followed quite a bit of self-help people on Instagram. The world felt a bit off and frankly, so did I. But sometime in 2022, I started unfollowing all of the self help people. I had a few years sobriety under my belt and felt stronger and to your point, I was tired of constantly feeling like I was broken and that I was a problem that needed to be fixed.
“If I live in the self-help world every day, I’m not actually living my life—I’m just consuming a lot of self-help content about ways I could live differently. And if I’m not living, I’m not paying attention or taking action on what’s right in front of me. There’s a cost to that.”
Absolutely love this and you hit it totally on the nail. It’s what a lot of these content creators rely on (manipulating the algorithm, “stealing” our attention, etc) but when it comes to mental health/self care… it feels outright wrong. It’s something so personal and commercializing all our problems, insecurities, and feelings for :30 s video clips begins to feel unsettling to say the least… great piece!!
As someone who has been in therapy for almost 4 years straight, I’m thinking it might be time for a break. Time for a break from analyzing everything I do. I love having someone to talk to, but i feel the self help burnout. It’s tiring and I’ve made a ton of progress, but part of me just wants to live my life.
That sounds healthy, Emily! And that's the exact place I got to last year. All the therapy I did was so valuable. And, you don't need to go forever. It's your choice! If you feel safe in the relationship, I wonder how it would feel to talk about this with them. I think a good therapist knows you're going to stop working together one day. That's probably their goal ☺️
Thank you for your thoughtful post. This rings true in a way I hadn't thought about before. It is a little of the water we swim in and I appreciate that your post articulated some feelings I have been having in questioning some of the content I'm consuming and how it makes me feel. Keep on :)
I can’t love this post enough ❤️ it was so eloquently written and I agree with your sentiments and self-help (or journalling, therapy, etc.) being useful, up to a point.
If it concerned our physical health, we wouldn’t keep going back to the doctor/hospital once we were physically fit again. (That’s a ropey analogy but hopefully makes sense 😅)
Very intriguing words that you share with us today and which I too subscribe to.
My thoughts on "Special Occasion" self-help vs "Every Day" self-help tend to go along these lines.
"Special Occasion" self-help tends to require dedicated intense mindful involvement, to be continuously done with a specific goal in mind, such as to accomplish something, correct something, get over something, etc. For example, if your computer should suddenly break down (which mine did recently), you go all out in figuring out how to fix it yourself (and FAST !) or hire a professional to do it for you, since lost productive time means $$$ lost.
"Every Day" self-help, on the other hand, tends to involve a more casual involvement, such as occasional checking the weather forecast in order to allow one to better plan one's activities for that day, week or whatever future period of interest. It's more about low priority and can be done or skipped altogether, with no regrets - no biggie.
You know how we tend to get deeply involved in changing fashions buying or go on binge buying for stuff (eg., books) and over the year it all piles up in our homes, closets, bookshelves, etc. And then this time of year arrives and we decide to get into a "spring cleaning" mood and so we go nuts in discarding stuff. Well the same works with one's mind. Things tend to pile up over time mentally. We read many things, subscribe to many things, join special interest causes and/or groups, etc. And then one day, our brains decide: "Hey, enough already! Time for some mental spring cleaning, time to take a mental vacation from all these things and instead just chill and do other more relaxing things, whether it be mental and/or physical." In other words it's what we all strive for - to maintain mental balance on a continuous basis.
It's really actions that we all do, whether we realize it or not. It's simply called living.
This is such a refreshing perspective. I can definitely relate. I’ve had periods that I couldn’t get enough of the stuff, and right now I think I’m in a season where I don’t feel a lot of need for it. I’m exploring other things like fiction books or politics or art and creativity. Getting outside and simply enjoying nature.
I think it’s good to get to a place of “done”. Because why do all of this healing work if it doesn’t get is back *into* living our precious lives?
YES! That's exactly it, Linn. This is a better closing line, hehe. Thank you for sharing what's been true for you!
I did the exact same thing, Trace! But started even younger, at middle grade. It was a true joy.
Very interesting article. I like the distinction you make between everyday self help and special occasion self help.
I have so many thoughts. I think I’ll share them in a note.
Love everything about this. As someone who has a janky system using the notes app in her phone would love to know the notes app you're loving.. if you feel keen to share!
Ok fair! It's TickTick 🤓 like all the others, you'd have to play around with to make your own. But it feels pretty easy!
Thank you for another thought provoking read friend! I very much like this distinction of everyday self help and special occasion self help. Special occasion also has a positive spin, which I think takes away some of the... I don't know what word to use... guilt? shame? we may feel when we explore something related to self help.
I am very grateful for all the words you share with us. Wishing you a lovely week. 🩷🩷🩷
That's a great reflection of the term, friend! This also makes me wonder what the history of self-help is, and how it became something people feel shame in exploring. (This resonates, I used to feel that way too.)
great read...I have been a self help junkie for years now- good to see a new perspective on it..thanks!
Very timely for me! 🩵🩵
100% co-sign on this! During the pandemic, “Insta-therapy” as I call it, was very popular and I followed quite a bit of self-help people on Instagram. The world felt a bit off and frankly, so did I. But sometime in 2022, I started unfollowing all of the self help people. I had a few years sobriety under my belt and felt stronger and to your point, I was tired of constantly feeling like I was broken and that I was a problem that needed to be fixed.
Love that you wrote about this Cait! 🥰
Sounds like really good noticing, friend! Noticing when it felt helpful, and noticing when you no longer needed it.
I was always enjoying your writings, and today, I am “upgrading”! Thank you.
Thank you so much, Barbara! I really appreciate it ✨
“If I live in the self-help world every day, I’m not actually living my life—I’m just consuming a lot of self-help content about ways I could live differently. And if I’m not living, I’m not paying attention or taking action on what’s right in front of me. There’s a cost to that.”
Absolutely love this and you hit it totally on the nail. It’s what a lot of these content creators rely on (manipulating the algorithm, “stealing” our attention, etc) but when it comes to mental health/self care… it feels outright wrong. It’s something so personal and commercializing all our problems, insecurities, and feelings for :30 s video clips begins to feel unsettling to say the least… great piece!!
Thanks, Ale! I appreciate your thoughts too.
Very valuable outlook and insights, well timed for where I'm at now. Thank you, Cait.
As someone who has been in therapy for almost 4 years straight, I’m thinking it might be time for a break. Time for a break from analyzing everything I do. I love having someone to talk to, but i feel the self help burnout. It’s tiring and I’ve made a ton of progress, but part of me just wants to live my life.
That sounds healthy, Emily! And that's the exact place I got to last year. All the therapy I did was so valuable. And, you don't need to go forever. It's your choice! If you feel safe in the relationship, I wonder how it would feel to talk about this with them. I think a good therapist knows you're going to stop working together one day. That's probably their goal ☺️
Thank you for your thoughtful post. This rings true in a way I hadn't thought about before. It is a little of the water we swim in and I appreciate that your post articulated some feelings I have been having in questioning some of the content I'm consuming and how it makes me feel. Keep on :)
I can’t love this post enough ❤️ it was so eloquently written and I agree with your sentiments and self-help (or journalling, therapy, etc.) being useful, up to a point.
If it concerned our physical health, we wouldn’t keep going back to the doctor/hospital once we were physically fit again. (That’s a ropey analogy but hopefully makes sense 😅)
It makes sense to me, friend! So nice to see your name and face here! ❤️
Hi Cait,
Very intriguing words that you share with us today and which I too subscribe to.
My thoughts on "Special Occasion" self-help vs "Every Day" self-help tend to go along these lines.
"Special Occasion" self-help tends to require dedicated intense mindful involvement, to be continuously done with a specific goal in mind, such as to accomplish something, correct something, get over something, etc. For example, if your computer should suddenly break down (which mine did recently), you go all out in figuring out how to fix it yourself (and FAST !) or hire a professional to do it for you, since lost productive time means $$$ lost.
"Every Day" self-help, on the other hand, tends to involve a more casual involvement, such as occasional checking the weather forecast in order to allow one to better plan one's activities for that day, week or whatever future period of interest. It's more about low priority and can be done or skipped altogether, with no regrets - no biggie.
You know how we tend to get deeply involved in changing fashions buying or go on binge buying for stuff (eg., books) and over the year it all piles up in our homes, closets, bookshelves, etc. And then this time of year arrives and we decide to get into a "spring cleaning" mood and so we go nuts in discarding stuff. Well the same works with one's mind. Things tend to pile up over time mentally. We read many things, subscribe to many things, join special interest causes and/or groups, etc. And then one day, our brains decide: "Hey, enough already! Time for some mental spring cleaning, time to take a mental vacation from all these things and instead just chill and do other more relaxing things, whether it be mental and/or physical." In other words it's what we all strive for - to maintain mental balance on a continuous basis.
It's really actions that we all do, whether we realize it or not. It's simply called living.
What a wonderful way of putting it!
Thank you Linn :-)
Agreed! Appreciate your words here, Rob. AND the time you took to write them.
💚❤️💚❤️ I am going to sit with this as sometimes I think I go down the self help rabbit hole to a point it is not helpful