My family just moved into a new home at the end of November. I’m still settling into the space. Some rooms feel completely foreign, others feel like friends at times and strangers at others, some feel nice but not yet like “mine.” The yard feels foreign and unloved, but I’m hoping to change that this spring. I know it will take year(s) before this house feels as much a home as our last. It needs to be lived in through all seasons. It needs to have memories in it.
Thank you for sharing this, Katie! Your words made me picture some of these rooms, and how I've felt at different times in them. To be honest, the bedrooms both still feel a bit like strangers to me. Even mine. I'm not sure why!? Maybe because they are so purposeful... so... slept in, not lived in. I don't know. Anyway, I agree it feels more like home once you've experienced all the seasons in it. Something I thought about including in this first post is that I've been here for 3 years, which feels like enough time to understand the patterns... I wonder what year 4 will feel like?
I love this take on your January, gives a great perspective. In our house (in Alberta) I FINALLY bought office furniture to turn a room into an office and I am so excited to get that set up and decorated!!!
Oh that's very exciting, Barb! I have thought that if I were going to buy any last piece of furniture for The Lighthouse, it would be a desk (and I suppose, a chair!). But for now, I'll stick to the dining room table. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!
Relating to your discussion about homes, specific rooms, etc that one tends to feel most comfortable in, I can offer these thoughts.
Some years ago our (young) family moved from Montreal to Toronto as part of a head office company transfer, from our original house to the one that we currently reside in. After the move at first everything around us (both inside and outdoors) felt strange, felt "foreign". Over time however that all changed. We met new neighbours, made new friends, decorated our house to suit our tastes, again both indoors and outside. In other words, we tended to "nest" in our surroundings - both physically as well as psychologically.
It all took time. It's important though that this becomes easier when one shares these experiences, as we did as a family. You mention that you used to prefer to work in your bedroom but now you're more attracted to your (ahem, Ms new Brit..) "sitting room". That's due to the fact that you hung pictures on the living room walls. You *nested* in that room. And, my friend, you are *sharing* that room with your 2 teenage friends. Follow what I'm saying? It takes time, it takes nesting (ie., making it yours), and it takes sharing with those close to you. And then, you'll see, it will all come together.
Swooning over here in the southwest desert of New Mexico! Living in a lighthouse has always been a desire to my romantic soul! Thank you for sharing your January writing/ observations with us!
Hi Cait, I don’t have your email. Former US subscriber here and thinking of resubscribing. Do you have many US subscribers or mostly UK and Canada subscribers? Your content from what I remember helped me stay present and focused, and I could use that right now give our political situation
Hey Alexandra! I just checked the stats and it looks like 60% of my subscribers are in the US. I don't write specific content about what's happening in any of these three parts of the world... but can only hope that whatever I write might help some readers slow down and be present with something else. Even if only for a minute. I hope that answers your question ☺️
Cait, Yes you did. Unfortunately, I missed the window with the discount. (There is so much chaos and confusion here in the US). When will you offer this discount again?
After starting life in Sherbrooke Quebec Canada my family immigrated to Los Angeles California when I was 4 I grew up there as a girl, teenager and young adult. After living in Santa Cruz CA and Lake Tahoe Nevada as a young woman I landed in Placerville California where gold was discovered in 1849.
I’ve been in my home in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada mountains for 42 years. Through raising 2 humans, having grandchildren come into my life, divorce, re-marriage, work as a teacher and now retirement this small house, two bedrooms one bath and most importantly my garden have been my steady base. I am now exploring the possibility of moving and it seems overwhelming. I love how brave you are to have moved so many times. I am new to Substack and look forward to hearing more from The Lighthouse. I have read both your books and look forward to the next one.
Thank you for sharing some of your backstory with us, Christine! I don't know if all my moves have been brave, necessarily. I do see how it's possible that "being afraid but doing it anyway" could be seen as brave. But it was also just how I was raised, in a way... to move around as often, or for as many reasons, as we needed to. And on reflection, I would've benefited from a steady base. I think that's what I'm finally trying to give myself now. ❤️ I'm curious where you're thinking of moving to, and why? ☺️
I had a large walk-in shower installed in October. A bathtub was one of the rare things I used as I need hot water splashed in my face in order to wake up and as I age, it's much safer for me.
My window and french doors are in my den and I can see outside when I sit on my sofa. It's where I stay most of the time when I'm at home because I'm warmer here.
I keep my gas fireplace on most of the time now as it takes the chill out of the air. I like living in a neighborhood where I can walk everywhere or use public transportation. I have a Mini in my garage but haven' driven it since early November. In warmer weather, I walk 8-10 miles a day and when I was in Ireland in September 2024, I walked and only used public transportation for three weeks. With all of our political issues in the U.S., I plan to only visit places on the west coast or BC this year.
Thanks for the lovely perspective on your life in the UK and your kitchen is beautiful! It sounds like you have a nice life there.
Thank YOU for painting such a lovely picture of your life, Sandra! It was beautiful to imagine you walking around Ireland. I can also understand why you'd be sticking to the west coast this year. 🌲
I love this so much, the whole idea of journaling about the rooms in my house - not something I've ever thought to do but suddenly I want to write about them all! It's the practice of record keeping and being in the present with how you feel in each room, what you do. Love, love, love.
Your comment reminded me of another prompt I've included in past journalling sessions, which is thinking about 1 part of your body and imagining what it's trying to tell you. So what is your neck trying to tell you. What are your arms or your feet trying to tell you. And so on. It's a fun one!
Gosh I love those photos from your home. My relationship to rooms in a home is quite different. I live in a camper with my husband and pup, so the whole thing is one room and yet many at once. I’ve particularly enjoyed looking through the windows each season. Seeing how the land changes. Seeing what we’ve added to it. Most recently, a dry stone wall with angled copes. An ode to England. (My husband has his level II in dry stone walking from the Dry Stone Walling Association in England). I like seeing the color of the sky in the winter. The native grasses. The mountains peeking through the scant trees. I’ve been loving getting back into film photography after finishing grad school & making mini series that tell a story. Like stills of planting garlic - our hands holding bulbs, our pup finding a frozen squash in the garden from fall, filling up water from the creek into a bucket, creating a blanket of straw to tuck in the bulbs for winter. I want to do more of that. For my next series, I want to do a series of peeing in the outdoors. I just love doing it. And since we’ve been using a compost toilet for two years that we compost ourselves, nature and going to the bathroom have formed a link that I’ve come to really love.
Thank you for painting so many beautiful pictures of what life looks like from your camper, Forrest! And how wonderful you've been inspired to get back into film photography ☺️
In my house I finally got a rug for our sitting area. The ceramic floors are cold in a Quebec winter, even with slippers. It is the space between the kitchen and dining room, one long room, with the exception of my home office, it is the space I spent the most time in. I watch the sun rise as I sit curled up on the settee I inherited from one of the people I loved the most, under the quilt some great relative made. I read, I surf, I venture to cook. (I have actually been cooking more). It is a very open but cozy space.
Somewhat (ok, maybe very?) unrelated, but it caught my eye...you said:
"Instead of light housekeeping, we could call it Lighthouse-keeping."
...and I was immediately reminded of a poem I first saw almost 30 years ago in New Yorker magazine in a waiting room and have a tattered photocopy of it I've carried around and have all-but memorized it. It is by Lawrence Raab and is called "My Soul is a Light Housekeeper", subtitled (Error in the printing of the line “My soul is a lighthouse keeper,”
by an unknown female poet.)
Random squirrel-ly brain thoughts, but nevertheless a poignant poem if anyone wants to look it up online.
Your Lighthouse sounds so lovely Cait! My partner bought me a 100 year old farmhouse when I retired because he knew I always wanted to live on a farm! It backs onto a giant creek that when my cousins from BC visited they said it was a river! I would say that my giant creek with my giant backyard is the room that I miss the most when winter comes! Saying that though the creek is just as magical in the winter! Today when we came home there were two giant coyotes gallavanting across the creek much to the dismay of the five giant cranes who were skating across trying to get out of the way of these bad boys!😂😂😂😭😭😭🤍🤍🤍🩶🩶🩶🌲🌲🌲💚💚
The last week in January was the one-year anniversary of when I moved into my current home. I wasn’t sure I wanted to own a home again after selling the house I owned in Tampa, Florida in 2011. I figured the only way I’d know for sure was to buy one and see what happened. So, that’s what I did! So far I’m happy with that decision.
It’s interesting how long it took you to hang stuff on your walls. I too seem to be having a problem with making the commitment to hang things. I am going to try and start with a few smaller pieces that will be easier to move if I change my mind about them!
Thank you for sharing your experiences in your home!
I don't know why it's so hard to just... bang in a nail (or use command strips, as I did) and hang something up... but it is! And here's the strangest part, Linda. I'd been collecting prints for YEARS. Not many, but some. And yet, I didn't put them up anywhere. Just built a little collection, which lived inside a thick envelope. It's so nice to see them up/around the house now. But like you: I started small! With two small paintings in the bedroom, and a fun map Tall Man bought for us (but we keep it at mine). Then I bought and hung up a print of a ligthhouse. Maybe I'll write more about this one day... for now, good luck deciding where to put your smaller pieces!
As I'll be transitioning back into paid work this summer, I will definitely need to change/replace/reconfigure some things in my office, which I share with my Dad, and which we'll also have to figure out in terms of actually using the space together (I used to just work on the floor in what is now the kiddos room, so we've never had to test the arrangement 😅). And hopefully, the little one will actually sleep in their own room, which would clear up space in my room to add a lounge area and maybe even a little craft area - although it's one of those paradoxical situations where I would like to sleep alone, but I also can't imagine it anymore, and I know it would probably be more relaxing for me, but also maybe that's just what people are saying I should be feeling?! A lot of emotions all of a sudden tied to my bedroom for sure!
It makes sense there'd be a lot of emotions in it all, Johanna! We can feel happy to share spaces, want spaces of our own, and need to navigate every possible configuration in-between. I hope you can find the solutions that feel right for you ☺️
My bedroom has felt extra special this month. Living in a college apt, everything is pretty sparse, but it feels like this room has allowed me to see everything outside with greater clarity. The living room feels untouched and you make a good point about filling a space up with energy, even if its only temporary!
I love this! Thank you for sharing. I am 5 months into our new home and it has finally come together. My favorite thing for January is that I retired! So I’m just a few days into that and learning new routines (or learning to be less structured which is SO hard for me) and spending more time in the quiet cozier rooms of my house is on my agenda!
My family just moved into a new home at the end of November. I’m still settling into the space. Some rooms feel completely foreign, others feel like friends at times and strangers at others, some feel nice but not yet like “mine.” The yard feels foreign and unloved, but I’m hoping to change that this spring. I know it will take year(s) before this house feels as much a home as our last. It needs to be lived in through all seasons. It needs to have memories in it.
Thank you for sharing this, Katie! Your words made me picture some of these rooms, and how I've felt at different times in them. To be honest, the bedrooms both still feel a bit like strangers to me. Even mine. I'm not sure why!? Maybe because they are so purposeful... so... slept in, not lived in. I don't know. Anyway, I agree it feels more like home once you've experienced all the seasons in it. Something I thought about including in this first post is that I've been here for 3 years, which feels like enough time to understand the patterns... I wonder what year 4 will feel like?
I love this take on your January, gives a great perspective. In our house (in Alberta) I FINALLY bought office furniture to turn a room into an office and I am so excited to get that set up and decorated!!!
Oh that's very exciting, Barb! I have thought that if I were going to buy any last piece of furniture for The Lighthouse, it would be a desk (and I suppose, a chair!). But for now, I'll stick to the dining room table. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!
My mum was born in Alberta! You’ve been quite cold there of late eh? Hope you are enjoying your office. I am going to paint mine in the next few days.
Hi Cait!
Relating to your discussion about homes, specific rooms, etc that one tends to feel most comfortable in, I can offer these thoughts.
Some years ago our (young) family moved from Montreal to Toronto as part of a head office company transfer, from our original house to the one that we currently reside in. After the move at first everything around us (both inside and outdoors) felt strange, felt "foreign". Over time however that all changed. We met new neighbours, made new friends, decorated our house to suit our tastes, again both indoors and outside. In other words, we tended to "nest" in our surroundings - both physically as well as psychologically.
It all took time. It's important though that this becomes easier when one shares these experiences, as we did as a family. You mention that you used to prefer to work in your bedroom but now you're more attracted to your (ahem, Ms new Brit..) "sitting room". That's due to the fact that you hung pictures on the living room walls. You *nested* in that room. And, my friend, you are *sharing* that room with your 2 teenage friends. Follow what I'm saying? It takes time, it takes nesting (ie., making it yours), and it takes sharing with those close to you. And then, you'll see, it will all come together.
Take care and enjoy your weekend.
Swooning over here in the southwest desert of New Mexico! Living in a lighthouse has always been a desire to my romantic soul! Thank you for sharing your January writing/ observations with us!
Hi Cait, I don’t have your email. Former US subscriber here and thinking of resubscribing. Do you have many US subscribers or mostly UK and Canada subscribers? Your content from what I remember helped me stay present and focused, and I could use that right now give our political situation
Hey Alexandra! I just checked the stats and it looks like 60% of my subscribers are in the US. I don't write specific content about what's happening in any of these three parts of the world... but can only hope that whatever I write might help some readers slow down and be present with something else. Even if only for a minute. I hope that answers your question ☺️
Cait, Yes you did. Unfortunately, I missed the window with the discount. (There is so much chaos and confusion here in the US). When will you offer this discount again?
After starting life in Sherbrooke Quebec Canada my family immigrated to Los Angeles California when I was 4 I grew up there as a girl, teenager and young adult. After living in Santa Cruz CA and Lake Tahoe Nevada as a young woman I landed in Placerville California where gold was discovered in 1849.
I’ve been in my home in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada mountains for 42 years. Through raising 2 humans, having grandchildren come into my life, divorce, re-marriage, work as a teacher and now retirement this small house, two bedrooms one bath and most importantly my garden have been my steady base. I am now exploring the possibility of moving and it seems overwhelming. I love how brave you are to have moved so many times. I am new to Substack and look forward to hearing more from The Lighthouse. I have read both your books and look forward to the next one.
Be well.
Thank you for sharing some of your backstory with us, Christine! I don't know if all my moves have been brave, necessarily. I do see how it's possible that "being afraid but doing it anyway" could be seen as brave. But it was also just how I was raised, in a way... to move around as often, or for as many reasons, as we needed to. And on reflection, I would've benefited from a steady base. I think that's what I'm finally trying to give myself now. ❤️ I'm curious where you're thinking of moving to, and why? ☺️
I own an urban condo in the PNW.
I had a large walk-in shower installed in October. A bathtub was one of the rare things I used as I need hot water splashed in my face in order to wake up and as I age, it's much safer for me.
My window and french doors are in my den and I can see outside when I sit on my sofa. It's where I stay most of the time when I'm at home because I'm warmer here.
I keep my gas fireplace on most of the time now as it takes the chill out of the air. I like living in a neighborhood where I can walk everywhere or use public transportation. I have a Mini in my garage but haven' driven it since early November. In warmer weather, I walk 8-10 miles a day and when I was in Ireland in September 2024, I walked and only used public transportation for three weeks. With all of our political issues in the U.S., I plan to only visit places on the west coast or BC this year.
Thanks for the lovely perspective on your life in the UK and your kitchen is beautiful! It sounds like you have a nice life there.
Thank YOU for painting such a lovely picture of your life, Sandra! It was beautiful to imagine you walking around Ireland. I can also understand why you'd be sticking to the west coast this year. 🌲
I love this so much, the whole idea of journaling about the rooms in my house - not something I've ever thought to do but suddenly I want to write about them all! It's the practice of record keeping and being in the present with how you feel in each room, what you do. Love, love, love.
Your comment reminded me of another prompt I've included in past journalling sessions, which is thinking about 1 part of your body and imagining what it's trying to tell you. So what is your neck trying to tell you. What are your arms or your feet trying to tell you. And so on. It's a fun one!
I remember this prompt! Just not where from lol. I love that one too, really gets you to home in on how your body is feeling.
Gosh I love those photos from your home. My relationship to rooms in a home is quite different. I live in a camper with my husband and pup, so the whole thing is one room and yet many at once. I’ve particularly enjoyed looking through the windows each season. Seeing how the land changes. Seeing what we’ve added to it. Most recently, a dry stone wall with angled copes. An ode to England. (My husband has his level II in dry stone walking from the Dry Stone Walling Association in England). I like seeing the color of the sky in the winter. The native grasses. The mountains peeking through the scant trees. I’ve been loving getting back into film photography after finishing grad school & making mini series that tell a story. Like stills of planting garlic - our hands holding bulbs, our pup finding a frozen squash in the garden from fall, filling up water from the creek into a bucket, creating a blanket of straw to tuck in the bulbs for winter. I want to do more of that. For my next series, I want to do a series of peeing in the outdoors. I just love doing it. And since we’ve been using a compost toilet for two years that we compost ourselves, nature and going to the bathroom have formed a link that I’ve come to really love.
Thank you for painting so many beautiful pictures of what life looks like from your camper, Forrest! And how wonderful you've been inspired to get back into film photography ☺️
In my house I finally got a rug for our sitting area. The ceramic floors are cold in a Quebec winter, even with slippers. It is the space between the kitchen and dining room, one long room, with the exception of my home office, it is the space I spent the most time in. I watch the sun rise as I sit curled up on the settee I inherited from one of the people I loved the most, under the quilt some great relative made. I read, I surf, I venture to cook. (I have actually been cooking more). It is a very open but cozy space.
This was a beautiful read! Thank you, Cait!
Somewhat (ok, maybe very?) unrelated, but it caught my eye...you said:
"Instead of light housekeeping, we could call it Lighthouse-keeping."
...and I was immediately reminded of a poem I first saw almost 30 years ago in New Yorker magazine in a waiting room and have a tattered photocopy of it I've carried around and have all-but memorized it. It is by Lawrence Raab and is called "My Soul is a Light Housekeeper", subtitled (Error in the printing of the line “My soul is a lighthouse keeper,”
by an unknown female poet.)
Random squirrel-ly brain thoughts, but nevertheless a poignant poem if anyone wants to look it up online.
Thank you again for you words, Cait!
Thank you for sharing that, Sher! In case anyone is interested, I found it on Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/Poetry/comments/r3dh4j/poem_my_soul_is_a_light_housekeeper_lawrence_raab/
I love this little section of it:
Why shouldn’t my house
be my own, and my soul its keeper?
This work I needn’t take so seriously
since I’ve learned what pleases me, the light
of late afternoon through that window...
Your Lighthouse sounds so lovely Cait! My partner bought me a 100 year old farmhouse when I retired because he knew I always wanted to live on a farm! It backs onto a giant creek that when my cousins from BC visited they said it was a river! I would say that my giant creek with my giant backyard is the room that I miss the most when winter comes! Saying that though the creek is just as magical in the winter! Today when we came home there were two giant coyotes gallavanting across the creek much to the dismay of the five giant cranes who were skating across trying to get out of the way of these bad boys!😂😂😂😭😭😭🤍🤍🤍🩶🩶🩶🌲🌲🌲💚💚
Oh my gosh, Michelle, your home sounds so magical! And I hope the cranes were ok! Though I understand, the circle of life... it still makes me sad!
The last week in January was the one-year anniversary of when I moved into my current home. I wasn’t sure I wanted to own a home again after selling the house I owned in Tampa, Florida in 2011. I figured the only way I’d know for sure was to buy one and see what happened. So, that’s what I did! So far I’m happy with that decision.
It’s interesting how long it took you to hang stuff on your walls. I too seem to be having a problem with making the commitment to hang things. I am going to try and start with a few smaller pieces that will be easier to move if I change my mind about them!
Thank you for sharing your experiences in your home!
I don't know why it's so hard to just... bang in a nail (or use command strips, as I did) and hang something up... but it is! And here's the strangest part, Linda. I'd been collecting prints for YEARS. Not many, but some. And yet, I didn't put them up anywhere. Just built a little collection, which lived inside a thick envelope. It's so nice to see them up/around the house now. But like you: I started small! With two small paintings in the bedroom, and a fun map Tall Man bought for us (but we keep it at mine). Then I bought and hung up a print of a ligthhouse. Maybe I'll write more about this one day... for now, good luck deciding where to put your smaller pieces!
As I'll be transitioning back into paid work this summer, I will definitely need to change/replace/reconfigure some things in my office, which I share with my Dad, and which we'll also have to figure out in terms of actually using the space together (I used to just work on the floor in what is now the kiddos room, so we've never had to test the arrangement 😅). And hopefully, the little one will actually sleep in their own room, which would clear up space in my room to add a lounge area and maybe even a little craft area - although it's one of those paradoxical situations where I would like to sleep alone, but I also can't imagine it anymore, and I know it would probably be more relaxing for me, but also maybe that's just what people are saying I should be feeling?! A lot of emotions all of a sudden tied to my bedroom for sure!
It makes sense there'd be a lot of emotions in it all, Johanna! We can feel happy to share spaces, want spaces of our own, and need to navigate every possible configuration in-between. I hope you can find the solutions that feel right for you ☺️
My bedroom has felt extra special this month. Living in a college apt, everything is pretty sparse, but it feels like this room has allowed me to see everything outside with greater clarity. The living room feels untouched and you make a good point about filling a space up with energy, even if its only temporary!
I love this! Thank you for sharing. I am 5 months into our new home and it has finally come together. My favorite thing for January is that I retired! So I’m just a few days into that and learning new routines (or learning to be less structured which is SO hard for me) and spending more time in the quiet cozier rooms of my house is on my agenda!
Congrats on your retirement, Jennifer! Sounds like "less structure" will be an interesting new world to navigate, in and of itself... 🙃