Decluttering is like, a replacement for shopping. If teen me went to the mall to buy stuff, adult me goes to her drawers to get rid of things. In either case, success is measured by bags. I get the same high.
I have a love/ hate relationship with decluttering and minimalism. I really enjoy decluttering and clearing out a space. But I feel like the everyday notion of what a minimalist is will never apply to me. I’m an artist and therefore I have stuff to create with and artwork everywhere! I’m also a mom with two younger kids who have a lot of stuff because other people buy it for them. I also have a husband who doesn’t think like I do and feels we might be able to use certain things some day or can’t get out of his head the money that was spent on an item. We will always have too much stuff for my liking. I do try really hard to be a mindful consumer. I am careful about what I bring into my home, careful about where I source the supplies for my art, etc. I don’t fit into conventional minimalism but we do have less than the majority of Americans. So I always feel like I am in limbo 🤷♀️
I love minimalism. It makes me feel good about the lesser footprint, inside and out. However, since you mentioned association with trauma, I can tell you that when in the midst of triggers, I let the clutter build again and without care, yet, of course.. somewhere beyond that “frozen “ I really DO CARE.. it feels I am stuck and can not make decisions, hardly about anything, nor am I motivated to “tidy up”… fright/freeze/flight/fight/fawn… moving between these varied states; brings me to the mindset of all sorts of “lack”.. hence, I hold on to …and then, in addition consume more ( things and food and thoughts) …
Oh my! You've raised an AWESOME point about writing non-fiction. Particularly of the narrative nature.
I love writing about things AS they are happening, and as I am learning. I'm not necessarily interested in being an expert on them - though sometimes that happens. Most times, by the time I get to expert level, I'm no longer interested in talking about it, much less teaching it.
I'm more of a try this thing and learn along with me type of writer and person.
I thought I was an I'm-the-expert-listen-to-me person, but I think I just realized that I'm not. It frees me to write as I desire and still feel like I'm adding value.
For me - I think it's about finding the line between what should be kept and what should be discarded when it comes to minimalism. My grandparents grew up in the Depression, and thus hung onto EVERYTHING. So seeing what my mom and siblings had to deal with in that regard to their belongings once they passed on, I've tried to develop the O-H-I-O method of Only Handle It Once for documents, etc that have already served their purpose or no longer necessary with the hopes that our kids will have less to worry about down the road.
Minimalism feels like an antidote to the lifestyle that brought me into debt. However, I don't know how authentic it is to ME.
My room was always messy as a kid. Even as a kid, I really loved shopping - and now as an adult I especially love finding creative local boutiques. I've also gotten into credit card debt that I am currently paying off, during which I've felt like the majority of online voices recommend minimalism. Leaning into minimalism doesn't necessarily feel natural to me and I am in a phase of questioning that. Am I conditioned to be a consumer? Or does consumption and having things bring me real joy. It's tough when you live within a capitalist system to figure out what is YOU and what is your conditioning. I do get joy out of shopping, but is that because of my conditioning or because of a core part of me - I love expressing myself with fashion and feel like I feel true joy and I have a great outfit on or find a perfect piece of art for my home. BUT as I pay off my debt I've really been looking at my relationship with consumption and experimenting with decluttering and minimalism.
Reading your post about debt yesterday was SO interesting for me as I am currently paying off debt and writing about it - and you've been a voice I've looked to for inspiration. As I pay off debt minimalism has felt like an answer of some sorts. But it is something I definitely am still parsing through and figuring out how authentic it feels within my life (rather than the fantasy I have of being this debt free minimalist).
Really appreciate these posts Cait! But I just want to say, your writing around debt pay off is so so helpful to me. As someone in the midst of a debt pay off journey, it has been so helpful to find writers breaking the stigma of having credit card debt. I understand and celebrate you growing and evolving, but know that I did care about your credit card debt, and you taking the time to write about it.
I found it interesting what you said here: “I also have a curiosity about how many minimalists have experienced trauma (a few of the big names have self-disclosed stories about childhood trauma, and I have many experiences I can reflect on myself) and the relationship between trauma + minimalism perhaps being used as a control tactic”.
I am someone who is minimalist by nature and likes things neat and tidy. My books are alphabetized and then also separated by genre, as an example. At the same time, I have also had childhood trauma. I’ve often thought that my “neatnick” tendencies and the need for my space to be just so, was a way and maybe continues to be a way to find calm in a world that needs to be chaotic. Clutter makes me anxious, it always has even when I was child and didn’t even know what the words anxiety or clutter really were.
I too tend to wear the same clothes over and over until they were out 🌿
Right on Cait! Thank you for showing us a new way to look at how minimalism has been sold to us & its rules. As a result it can create self made issues & stressors if we dont measure up.
You have shed much needed light to reevaluate how we can make minimalism work for us versus striving to obtain minimalism perfection.
“I haven’t thought about becoming an expert on any one topic in particular. Maybe that’s just how I operate, or maybe I haven’t found a topic that piques my interest enough yet.”
People are multifaceted. Having multiple interests and interests that change over time, or that come back seasonally is normal. Or at least it’s something I view as normal. This is something I have thought about on and off over the last couple years but haven’t dived into because it just feels true to me. I am, however, curious if this is a common view, or does it maybe suggest neurodivergence? I’ll likely take a deep dive into the topic at some point, for now it is just the way I am.
As far as minimalism, I’ve been feeling like it’s time to do a deep declutter again. It has been years since I have, and I desperately need my home to return to the feeling of calm that it has veered away from. In contradiction to this, I do love maximalist decor (limited to a wall).
I grew up with a family that had A LOT of stuff. The house did not look like a hoarders house, but every drawer/cupboard/closet was full. There was a room in the basement full of boxes that were never opened. There were more cars than people (this was true even before my brother and I could drive).
There are many, many ways that I am not like my family and leaning towards minimalism is one of them. The opposite of minimalism feels chaotic to me, and I need calm.
This is me --> "a woman who wears the same few outfits for many years (I don’t have a capsule wardrobe, just own very few items and wear them out)"
I like the process of touching and sorting everything I have and seeing what is actually supportive, used, and that I like. And I definitely show up as a minimalist with not having a lot of things, because I don't use a lot of things. One example is my desks don't have any drawers, they are just tables.
I like this perspective about it and will probably think more about it.
Oh this post spoke to me at so many levels! I loved digging into minimalism more intentionally as an offshoot to my financial independence journey and learning about the "lifestyle" side of it and hearing the stories and even watched the documentary, and dug a little more into the different folx featured in it. I lean towards less anyway, never have had a bursting closet, and like empty spaces. When I did indeed quit working, I even took a $50 "course" on it (of course recognizing the irony of being a paid consumer of the idea) to pare things down more than I did naturally. I worked my way through the course, understood my whys, let go of some things that didn't represent who I am or who I want to be and got the house that I had lived in to a point where I had just the right amount of stuff and became very mindful of anything that I brought in. So for me, it was sort of a practice of mindfulness, being a better consumer and made it really easy when we sold our house and moved abroad in 2022! (even 5 years after my decluttering). I take care not to judge how much others have; at the same time, clutter stresses me out. However, especially if you have any friends who grew up without much (I'm thinking about one who is a refugee from Vietnam and one who grew up at the poverty line) - I find it's important to remember that their stuff is different for them than it is for me. Ok, I already said too much, but I got so bored with all the talk of minimalism very quickly and the podcasts and the little snippets of information that once I finished my own very easy decluttering journey, I've not thought about it much since. p.s. I did NOT have a tidy room as a youngster or as a teenager and my desk almost always has a very small pile of random papers that I seem to use frequently.
For the last 20 years I've lived the minimalist lifestyle. Partially by becoming a bit nomadic in my work life. (What can I fit in my car to take with me.) and also partially as seeing the clutter and "things" in family and friends' homes, and feeling an almost claustrophobia in my body. It was interesting to observe myself once my partner and I settled in a home and we both felt the same about not amassing more "things" just because now we had the room for them. There is something really satisfying to me that I can fit most of what I own, and truly want in my vehicle. And yes. I agreee this is total privilege!
While I am not a neat freak, or a tidy person generally, I do love decluttering.
I am not a minimalist in any part of my life. I love to be surrounded by things I love/use. I do occasionally declutter things that I don’t need or want. I keep things forever. I have so many things.
Since inheriting the contents of a house - I have been thinking more about what happens to my stuff when I die. This is making me more mindful of what I bring in.
Part of me thinks minimalism would be easier and I also smile looking at my silver and dusting another object.
I enjoy the decluttering process, but I always need to keep myself in line once I've decluttered because I'm always tempted to buy a "better" version of whatever I've eliminated. It's a problem I'm going to have to work through internally, because I'm sure these "better" versions also ended up in a donation pile. I was a little disorganized as a kid because I had too much stuff, so owning less is a good way to keep myself from feeling overstimulated. I do appreciate conversations I've seen in recent years against extreme minimalism because I think it's okay to be nostalgic and want to keep things, but I hate feeling like everything is about selling a product at this point.
What you wrote resonated with me to the max. I decluttered a few years back and developed an interest in minimalism and being mindful of what I consume and buy. But after I went through the whole process of getting rid of excess things, I also really didn't think about it after. It was like a growth phase I needed to go through and when it was done, I moved on to my next growth thing. I am still very much a mindful consumer, with a focus on experience versus material things, but the whole decluttering thing was more of a tool I used in one phase of my journey instead of a place in which I dwell, kind of like what you wrote. Can't wait to read your thoughts on consumerism, that's a topic I love reading and thinking about!
Decluttering is like, a replacement for shopping. If teen me went to the mall to buy stuff, adult me goes to her drawers to get rid of things. In either case, success is measured by bags. I get the same high.
I have a love/ hate relationship with decluttering and minimalism. I really enjoy decluttering and clearing out a space. But I feel like the everyday notion of what a minimalist is will never apply to me. I’m an artist and therefore I have stuff to create with and artwork everywhere! I’m also a mom with two younger kids who have a lot of stuff because other people buy it for them. I also have a husband who doesn’t think like I do and feels we might be able to use certain things some day or can’t get out of his head the money that was spent on an item. We will always have too much stuff for my liking. I do try really hard to be a mindful consumer. I am careful about what I bring into my home, careful about where I source the supplies for my art, etc. I don’t fit into conventional minimalism but we do have less than the majority of Americans. So I always feel like I am in limbo 🤷♀️
I love minimalism. It makes me feel good about the lesser footprint, inside and out. However, since you mentioned association with trauma, I can tell you that when in the midst of triggers, I let the clutter build again and without care, yet, of course.. somewhere beyond that “frozen “ I really DO CARE.. it feels I am stuck and can not make decisions, hardly about anything, nor am I motivated to “tidy up”… fright/freeze/flight/fight/fawn… moving between these varied states; brings me to the mindset of all sorts of “lack”.. hence, I hold on to …and then, in addition consume more ( things and food and thoughts) …
Oh my! You've raised an AWESOME point about writing non-fiction. Particularly of the narrative nature.
I love writing about things AS they are happening, and as I am learning. I'm not necessarily interested in being an expert on them - though sometimes that happens. Most times, by the time I get to expert level, I'm no longer interested in talking about it, much less teaching it.
I'm more of a try this thing and learn along with me type of writer and person.
I thought I was an I'm-the-expert-listen-to-me person, but I think I just realized that I'm not. It frees me to write as I desire and still feel like I'm adding value.
For me - I think it's about finding the line between what should be kept and what should be discarded when it comes to minimalism. My grandparents grew up in the Depression, and thus hung onto EVERYTHING. So seeing what my mom and siblings had to deal with in that regard to their belongings once they passed on, I've tried to develop the O-H-I-O method of Only Handle It Once for documents, etc that have already served their purpose or no longer necessary with the hopes that our kids will have less to worry about down the road.
Minimalism feels like an antidote to the lifestyle that brought me into debt. However, I don't know how authentic it is to ME.
My room was always messy as a kid. Even as a kid, I really loved shopping - and now as an adult I especially love finding creative local boutiques. I've also gotten into credit card debt that I am currently paying off, during which I've felt like the majority of online voices recommend minimalism. Leaning into minimalism doesn't necessarily feel natural to me and I am in a phase of questioning that. Am I conditioned to be a consumer? Or does consumption and having things bring me real joy. It's tough when you live within a capitalist system to figure out what is YOU and what is your conditioning. I do get joy out of shopping, but is that because of my conditioning or because of a core part of me - I love expressing myself with fashion and feel like I feel true joy and I have a great outfit on or find a perfect piece of art for my home. BUT as I pay off my debt I've really been looking at my relationship with consumption and experimenting with decluttering and minimalism.
Reading your post about debt yesterday was SO interesting for me as I am currently paying off debt and writing about it - and you've been a voice I've looked to for inspiration. As I pay off debt minimalism has felt like an answer of some sorts. But it is something I definitely am still parsing through and figuring out how authentic it feels within my life (rather than the fantasy I have of being this debt free minimalist).
Really appreciate these posts Cait! But I just want to say, your writing around debt pay off is so so helpful to me. As someone in the midst of a debt pay off journey, it has been so helpful to find writers breaking the stigma of having credit card debt. I understand and celebrate you growing and evolving, but know that I did care about your credit card debt, and you taking the time to write about it.
'I also have a curiosity about how many minimalists have experienced trauma'
Interesting thought, thanks for sharing, I am going to ponder that. I have PTSD and have a significantly lower 'clutter threshold' than my partner.
& I Lol'd at 'The FlanCait Method' 🤣
Greetings Cait! ✨
I found it interesting what you said here: “I also have a curiosity about how many minimalists have experienced trauma (a few of the big names have self-disclosed stories about childhood trauma, and I have many experiences I can reflect on myself) and the relationship between trauma + minimalism perhaps being used as a control tactic”.
I am someone who is minimalist by nature and likes things neat and tidy. My books are alphabetized and then also separated by genre, as an example. At the same time, I have also had childhood trauma. I’ve often thought that my “neatnick” tendencies and the need for my space to be just so, was a way and maybe continues to be a way to find calm in a world that needs to be chaotic. Clutter makes me anxious, it always has even when I was child and didn’t even know what the words anxiety or clutter really were.
I too tend to wear the same clothes over and over until they were out 🌿
Right on Cait! Thank you for showing us a new way to look at how minimalism has been sold to us & its rules. As a result it can create self made issues & stressors if we dont measure up.
You have shed much needed light to reevaluate how we can make minimalism work for us versus striving to obtain minimalism perfection.
“I haven’t thought about becoming an expert on any one topic in particular. Maybe that’s just how I operate, or maybe I haven’t found a topic that piques my interest enough yet.”
People are multifaceted. Having multiple interests and interests that change over time, or that come back seasonally is normal. Or at least it’s something I view as normal. This is something I have thought about on and off over the last couple years but haven’t dived into because it just feels true to me. I am, however, curious if this is a common view, or does it maybe suggest neurodivergence? I’ll likely take a deep dive into the topic at some point, for now it is just the way I am.
As far as minimalism, I’ve been feeling like it’s time to do a deep declutter again. It has been years since I have, and I desperately need my home to return to the feeling of calm that it has veered away from. In contradiction to this, I do love maximalist decor (limited to a wall).
I grew up with a family that had A LOT of stuff. The house did not look like a hoarders house, but every drawer/cupboard/closet was full. There was a room in the basement full of boxes that were never opened. There were more cars than people (this was true even before my brother and I could drive).
There are many, many ways that I am not like my family and leaning towards minimalism is one of them. The opposite of minimalism feels chaotic to me, and I need calm.
This is me --> "a woman who wears the same few outfits for many years (I don’t have a capsule wardrobe, just own very few items and wear them out)"
I like the process of touching and sorting everything I have and seeing what is actually supportive, used, and that I like. And I definitely show up as a minimalist with not having a lot of things, because I don't use a lot of things. One example is my desks don't have any drawers, they are just tables.
I like this perspective about it and will probably think more about it.
Oh this post spoke to me at so many levels! I loved digging into minimalism more intentionally as an offshoot to my financial independence journey and learning about the "lifestyle" side of it and hearing the stories and even watched the documentary, and dug a little more into the different folx featured in it. I lean towards less anyway, never have had a bursting closet, and like empty spaces. When I did indeed quit working, I even took a $50 "course" on it (of course recognizing the irony of being a paid consumer of the idea) to pare things down more than I did naturally. I worked my way through the course, understood my whys, let go of some things that didn't represent who I am or who I want to be and got the house that I had lived in to a point where I had just the right amount of stuff and became very mindful of anything that I brought in. So for me, it was sort of a practice of mindfulness, being a better consumer and made it really easy when we sold our house and moved abroad in 2022! (even 5 years after my decluttering). I take care not to judge how much others have; at the same time, clutter stresses me out. However, especially if you have any friends who grew up without much (I'm thinking about one who is a refugee from Vietnam and one who grew up at the poverty line) - I find it's important to remember that their stuff is different for them than it is for me. Ok, I already said too much, but I got so bored with all the talk of minimalism very quickly and the podcasts and the little snippets of information that once I finished my own very easy decluttering journey, I've not thought about it much since. p.s. I did NOT have a tidy room as a youngster or as a teenager and my desk almost always has a very small pile of random papers that I seem to use frequently.
For the last 20 years I've lived the minimalist lifestyle. Partially by becoming a bit nomadic in my work life. (What can I fit in my car to take with me.) and also partially as seeing the clutter and "things" in family and friends' homes, and feeling an almost claustrophobia in my body. It was interesting to observe myself once my partner and I settled in a home and we both felt the same about not amassing more "things" just because now we had the room for them. There is something really satisfying to me that I can fit most of what I own, and truly want in my vehicle. And yes. I agreee this is total privilege!
While I am not a neat freak, or a tidy person generally, I do love decluttering.
Although.... I may have too many running shoes :)
I am not a minimalist in any part of my life. I love to be surrounded by things I love/use. I do occasionally declutter things that I don’t need or want. I keep things forever. I have so many things.
Since inheriting the contents of a house - I have been thinking more about what happens to my stuff when I die. This is making me more mindful of what I bring in.
Part of me thinks minimalism would be easier and I also smile looking at my silver and dusting another object.
I enjoy the decluttering process, but I always need to keep myself in line once I've decluttered because I'm always tempted to buy a "better" version of whatever I've eliminated. It's a problem I'm going to have to work through internally, because I'm sure these "better" versions also ended up in a donation pile. I was a little disorganized as a kid because I had too much stuff, so owning less is a good way to keep myself from feeling overstimulated. I do appreciate conversations I've seen in recent years against extreme minimalism because I think it's okay to be nostalgic and want to keep things, but I hate feeling like everything is about selling a product at this point.
What you wrote resonated with me to the max. I decluttered a few years back and developed an interest in minimalism and being mindful of what I consume and buy. But after I went through the whole process of getting rid of excess things, I also really didn't think about it after. It was like a growth phase I needed to go through and when it was done, I moved on to my next growth thing. I am still very much a mindful consumer, with a focus on experience versus material things, but the whole decluttering thing was more of a tool I used in one phase of my journey instead of a place in which I dwell, kind of like what you wrote. Can't wait to read your thoughts on consumerism, that's a topic I love reading and thinking about!