I won't sell minimalism to you
But I am probably a minimalist (it's complicated, lol)
Hi friend,
I’m doing a little re-introduction series this week! Publishing three posts with updated perspectives on three topics I used to write about years ago. These are the three topics I was/am probably most well-known for, but have definitely shifted some of my views on as I’ve gotten older.
Yesterday, I revisited debt, which was the main topic I wrote about from 2011-2013. It felt good to finally say the thing I’ve wanted to say for years, which is that I don’t care if you have debt (and don’t want to be the kind of personal finance writer who upholds all the old advice we’ve always received).
Today, I want to start looking at the first of two topics I wrote about from 2014-2016, which were also the two topics covered in my first book, THE YEAR OF LESS. Tomorrow, we’ll talk about shopping/consumption. But today, let’s sift through my current thoughts on decluttering/minimalism…
I don’t think about decluttering
In the summer of 2014, I decided to do an experiment where I wouldn’t buy anything for a year—and would also declutter my belongings in that time. I ended up doing this experiment for two full years, and decluttered (aka removed from my home) approx. 80-85% of my belongings. I’m grateful I went through that process, as I learned some invaluable lessons about who I am and what I value. And, I haven’t thought much about it since.
I want to start here, because I’ve had a really conflicted relationship with THE YEAR OF LESS (TYOL) since it came out—which is the book I got to write, after completing that experiment. I’ve struggled to find the words to explain why. Part of the answer will be in tomorrow’s post on shopping/consumption. But I’m finally giving myself permission to ramble my way through this, and see what comes out of me… and I think the easiest place to begin is with decluttering.
I think it starts with the fact that: I don’t think about decluttering—which is the process of removing “unnecessary” (by your definition) items from your home. TYOL outlines the first year of my experiment in detail, so it includes stories about my personal experiences with decluttering. I was able to write that book very quickly, because those experiences were recent and were all true. But what’s also true is that I have spent almost no time thinking about it since.
The unexpected result of writing that book, though, is that some people then saw me as an expert in this area. But I didn’t actually want to talk about decluttering, after that. It’s not something I’m an expert at, nor do I want to build a career around it. I don’t think I’ve even written about it since!? And you’ll notice I haven’t come up with any special method for decluttering. If you read TYOL, you know I literally just went from room-to-room, dumped everything onto the floor of each one, then had to clean up the mess I’d made (and choose what to get rid of, in the process). I’m not an expert at it. I do know that releasing so many objects, and all the old stories and meaning I’d attached to them, was incredibly freeing. Like I said above, I’m glad I did it. But it’s behind me now.
Decluttering was a thing I did, but it’s not who I am or something I think deeply about. Does that make sense?
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned as a personal writer + author of nonfiction books now is: if you publish it, be prepared to talk about it for the next 10 years of your life.
AKA: think wisely about what you do/don’t want to be known for!
Of course, the topic of decluttering leads to the topic of living with less. And both of these fall under the umbrella of minimalism—which is where my feelings/beliefs start to feel a little confusing, even for me. I am very clear about the fact that I don’t think about decluttering, and don’t want to build a career around the topic of decluttering. This is also true for minimalism. But I do live a “minimalist lifestyle”, and am probably a “minimalist” by most definitions… I just seem to have a lot of feelings about it.
I won’t sell minimalism to you
Here’s what I know for sure: if we hung out, and/or you came to my home, you would probably call me a minimalist. On the outside, you would see:
a woman who lives with less (I only own what I use/love, and the Lighthouse does have a lot of white space all throughout) ✅
a woman whose home is always clean and tidy (this was also true of my childhood bedrooms, my desks/lockers at school, etc.) ✅
a woman who wears the same few outfits for many years (I don’t have a capsule wardrobe, just own very few items and wear them out) ✅
a woman who values experiences more than things (aka, I would rather go for walks and hikes and travel together, than go shopping) ✅
These tick many of the boxes for the stereotypical image of a minimalist. And in some ways, I don’t mind calling myself one. I can feel and see the benefits of living this way, on an individual level, a relational level, and a global level. But I still don’t really like applying this label to myself, or to the way I live… and I think that’s largely because I don’t want to sell it as a solution to any of our problems.
Minimalism is often sold as a lifestyle that will help us in some way. Not by everyone… but by some of the people who create content about it. If you call yourself a minimalist, it’s probably because you really believe in this way of life. And that’s fine! Like I said, I feel and see the value in it myself. But something you’ll commonly see is that some of the same people who describe themselves as minimalists are also selling formulas for how you can be one too—and that’s something I don’t want to be part of.
Examples might be how many items make up a perfect capsule wardrobe, or which items it should include, or how you should design and organize your spaces, and which products will help you do so. I don’t want to judge this. I know some people find rules really supportive, especially when they are just getting started. So you, yourself, might have found these things really helpful! But if I’m honest, for me personally, rules like that feel restrictive and ripe for perfectionism (which all reminds me of diet culture). It feels like a way to control1 your space, your life, and yourself. These rules don’t teach you how to listen to your body and mind, or learn how to trust yourself. They are selling a checklist; a formula2; a version of minimalism that will solve at least one of your problems. It feels like just another thing to buy into. Another form of consumerism. (Especially when they literally sell you “minimalist” products for your life/home.) And another thing to feel like you’re getting wrong, if you buy into it (or literally buy things) and then don’t follow through.
So, I sit at this interesting paradox… where I would say I am a minimalist, but it’s also not an idea I will sell to you. But I do believe in it. It’s a strange space to occupy, right!? Can you see why I’ve had so many conflicting feelings about it over the years?
I think the other reason I won’t (/can’t) sell minimalism to you is because I wouldn’t know how to sell my version of it anyway! Minimalism doesn’t feel external for me. It’s internal, and more intuitive than that. I think the reason I look like a minimalist on the outside is because of the way I think. It’s more like a decision-making muscle that I exercise—and have been using since I was a kid! I wouldn’t even call it minimalism, then… it’s almost like it needs another name. Because seriously, my external world has always looked this way: with clean/tidy spaces, wearing the same few outfits on repeat, etc. Nobody ever had to ask me to clean my bedroom, but instead my friends would ask me to help clean theirs!
I didn’t declutter in 2014-2016 because I was living in a cluttered mess. I decluttered because I moved 5 times in a year, and started to wonder why I kept moving the same boxes over and over again, but never unpacked them. I just kept moving them from one closet to another. I wanted to know what was inside, what I was holding onto, and also why I was holding onto lots of clothes I never wore. That’s the majority of what I got rid of (and also, why it was so easy to let it all go3). Plus, a few things I’d bought for an aspirational version of myself and never used. But if you’d walked into any of my apartments before I’d gone through that process, you still would’ve thought I was a woman who lived with less and had a clean/tidy home. This is just who I am, and who I’ve always been…
I’m sharing all of this so you know what to expect—or not expect—from me, going forward. I’m not going to write about decluttering strategies. I’m not going to sell any formulas for how to be a minimalist. (Though admittedly, I am curious if I could find more words to describe how my brain works, and how I think about this stuff… so, I might dig into that one day!) I don’t want to be an expert on those topics. I said what I wanted to say in TYOL, and that was enough for me.
In general, I haven’t thought about becoming an expert on any one topic in particular. Maybe that’s just how I operate, or maybe I haven’t found a topic that piques my interest enough yet. What’s been true for me so far is that I am less of an expert and more of an experimenter. I will absolutely encourage and promote the idea of paying attention, because that’s how I’ve decided to do all of my experiments. I write about things I’m challenging myself to do differently, and what I notice throughout the experiment (in myself and the world around me). And when I’m done with that experiment, I’m often done with the topic.
The one topic I do think I could keep writing about for a very long time is consumption. Not just consumerism, but consumption of everthing. What we consume, why we consume it, how much of it we consume, how it shapes us, and more. I used to think about doing a Masters on this, but don’t really want to spend the money on school again. Thankfully, the internet gives us a place to research and write about whatever we want. I’ll say a little more about this tomorrow…
For now, I’m curious: what’s your relationship with decluttering and/or minimalism, friend? I’m curious what role they play in your life (if any). And, how you feel about the word “minimalism” in general…
I like doing word association exercises! Writing down a single word then giving myself a few minutes to reflect on what comes up for me. I’d love to hear what “minimalism” brings up for you!
I also have a curiosity about how many minimalists have experienced trauma (a few of the big names have self-disclosed stories about childhood trauma, and I have many experiences I can reflect on myself) and the relationship between trauma + minimalism perhaps being used as a control tactic. But that is a MUCH bigger topic, and not one I feel qualified to write about, at this point.
There’s also a sh*t ton of privilege in getting to “choose” to be the kind of minimalist who gets to make all of these purchases, which most of these offerings never touch on. Again, a much bigger topic, but maybe one for another day.
Even decluttering feels too easy for me to explain how to do it. Remember: once upon a time, I decluttered pennies! 😂
Decluttering is like, a replacement for shopping. If teen me went to the mall to buy stuff, adult me goes to her drawers to get rid of things. In either case, success is measured by bags. I get the same high.
Greetings Cait! ✨
I found it interesting what you said here: “I also have a curiosity about how many minimalists have experienced trauma (a few of the big names have self-disclosed stories about childhood trauma, and I have many experiences I can reflect on myself) and the relationship between trauma + minimalism perhaps being used as a control tactic”.
I am someone who is minimalist by nature and likes things neat and tidy. My books are alphabetized and then also separated by genre, as an example. At the same time, I have also had childhood trauma. I’ve often thought that my “neatnick” tendencies and the need for my space to be just so, was a way and maybe continues to be a way to find calm in a world that needs to be chaotic. Clutter makes me anxious, it always has even when I was child and didn’t even know what the words anxiety or clutter really were.
I too tend to wear the same clothes over and over until they were out 🌿