I'm new to Substack, reading, reading, trying to figure out what I'm doing. I feel the way you do, really gagging on all the New Years prompts. I feel rather cynical, jaded but there's just so much that like you said was never my idea in the first place. Another NI woman. LA
I love this article. Thank you for articulating what I have been feeling but unable to put into words. I too am a project person and have been pushing myself into another one sooner than I have been ready to embrace.
Reading your words has helped me give myself permission to ease the foot off the gas peddle so the rest of me can catch up with myself :)
Three things immediately came to mind about what I’m noticing. First, my earache and whiplash flareups have been coinciding over the last two months. I haven’t been able to determine which is causing the other, something to continue paying attention too.
Second, my drinking barely exists anymore. It was never a goal, nor do I strive to be sober, I like how I feel without alcohol. But I also enjoy a delicious drink much like I do a decadent desert on occasion. I went to a Dry January tasting on the weekend (if it had been labeled nonalcoholic and held in May I would have been just as interested) and brought home a few nonalcoholic drinks for days I want something fancier than water or tea.
And third, like you, following through on an idea when it feels right tends to lead to “better” results (longevity). Cutting back on drinking has been a progression over ~6 years and has never had any sort of rules. Adding to my fitness routine started in the fall as preparation for a big audacious goal I have for later this year.
I agree with so much of what you’ve written and could chat on this topic forever. Congrats on the new name for your Substack! I am excited to see what comes from it this year.
Thank you for sharing all of this, Jodie! I actually love the convo around drinking less, but not necessarily feeling the need to be totally sober. I think that's a beautiful space to be able to occupy, and would love to see dialogue around that grow and continue to be normalized! Also: I can't help but be curious what your big audacious goal is! No need to share... but if you ever want to, I'd love to hear more!
This is me. My answer to "what is/are your NY resolution(s)?" has been the same for about five years now, and it's the only resolution I've ever made and kept: no more NY resolutions.
I do on occasion find a word that hits me well as I ponder things. One that seems to tie things together for me...like "create" has been rolling around in my head. In an encouraging way vs a goal or demand or expectation.
I'm with you, Kristin—lots of words have been popping up for me lately! "More" still feels like one I want to hold onto. "Generous" has been another. "Ambitious" surprised me, but feels true. And, it still doesn't feel like something I want to keep front and centre for an entire year. I'm just enjoying noticing them!
Thank you for sharing this! I’ve been thinking about NY resolutions because of the onslaught of media around them and I just don’t feel like they align with me. If I want to set a goal, I want to set it then and not wait for some arbitrary date on a calendar. I love so much what you have shared. Thank you for being open with us!
Many miles apart and we are on the same wavelength Cait 🙃 I haven’t written in weeks as my entire family got sick around the middle of December and it has just been weeks of sickness. I am still not better 😩 Like you, I am really trying to focus on my health. I’ve got a post percolating about this and my aversion to all the resolution-setting that I’m just not keen on. NI for sure!
I'm so sorry you were all sick over the holidays, friend! Tall Man + his kids are/were too. And I'm hearing similar stories from friends all around the world. This one is really making the rounds... hope you feel better soon too, and that you're able to ease into this year slowly! ❤️
Health? I learned a lot from the Substack writer, A Midwestern Doctor: The Forgotten Side of Medicine, particularly his take on COVID-19. You might want to check it out.
I can so relate to so much of what you share. I had this convo with a good friend the other day, and we made note that to start a new year in the middle of winter seems in opposition to the natural cycle of things. I think there is a lot to be said for paying attention to what's within rather than going with whatever everyone else is doing—something I am, for certain, doing as well.
"...paying attention to what's within rather than going with whatever everyone else is doing." Yes, yes, yes. You summed up my thoughts in a single sentence! Thanks for sharing, Cristina ☺️
I totally agree with the piece about paying attention. I think that the winter is the perfect time to get quiet and listen, instead of launching into a flurry of new habits. I think that is why so many resolutions fail by February. I am listening and noticing. Making notes and journaling my thoughts. I know It will come together as a clearer intention.
Hoorah, Cait! I literally wrote about the same feeling this week. I’m not feeling it either. I felt bad for saying it but I’m glad I did, and I’m glad you have too. Sending big love for your recovery to health soon! xxx
Thanks, friend! And I'm glad you wrote your piece! I always try to remember that if you're feeling/thinking about something, you're probably not alone ☺️
Love this post! I'm paying attention to how I'm feeling physically. I was all set to do an activity challenge for the beginning of the year, but I injured my back on the first day of said challenge. I have to believe there's a lesson in there for me, about examining why I was setting the challenge, and if it was actually in alignment with my growth. It's been eye-opening journaling about it and giving myself the space and time to heal without beating myself up about not "achieving" that initial goal. Instead, what my body needed was a slow, comforting, and reflective January. So, that's what I'm having now ;-)
Love, love, love all of this. NOT the injury, of course. But the re-examination + new intentions that followed... sounds both self-aware + like great self-care, friend.
It is a new year, and I am tired too! I don't always feel like the New Year is the REAL new year. As I was a public school teacher for more than 27 years I always think of the fall as the start of the year. The winter solstice seems more the turn of the year for me now than the first of January.
I read your book, Adventures in Opting Out, when it was first released in less than 24 hours but when you mentioned it today I called it back up on the kindle and read the beginning section again about your decision process. (Thank you for referencing it!) It was what I needed to read today.
I too have moved more times than I would like to count. SO much of your writing resonates with me. I also have made decisions in my life that others labeled as brave and I didn't feel brave at all.
All of this to say, thank you for being real with your writing. It makes a difference and I appreciate you!
Thank you for such a kind and generous comment, Tammy! It means a lot, especially these days, as I'm continuing to figure out what's next for me. Also, I get the same feeling at the start of every school year. Maybe because I give myself extended time off during the same breaks as what kids get too, haha. I'm a numbers person, and I do like tracking certain things (like money stuff) Jan 1-Dec 31 simply from a data standpoint 😂 but the date doesn't have any significance for me beyond that!
In the last year, after a break up, I proclaimed to my cat (as I was suddenly living alone), that I was going to become a student of my own energy. Instead of forcing, I want to follow and see where I take me.
Through this experiment, I’ve found a new version of discipline in myself that feels really GOOD. I’ve always resisted discipline, routine, structure. But now that I’ve found my own version of it, instead of trying to self-impose someone else’s recommendation, it feels like a breath of fresh air. Swimming downstream. Having the wind at my back.
What would we all discover if we looked inward for answers instead of outward more often?
Thank you for putting words to exactly what I’ve been feeling myself!
"What would be all discover if we looked inward for answers instead of outward more often?" And thank YOU for a beautiful reflection question, Leona! And for sharing some of your journey with us here ☺️
I instantly thought of "The knights who say NI!". I have noticed I AM definitely a morning person so that time between 5:30-8:30 has become very special to me. Seeing the morning sun slowly waking up and touching everything to the morning dew sparkling in the wind. Being pushed to stay up late doesn't serve me and my sleep routine is important to me. I'm paying attention to when this happens, verbally expressing that I am going to bed and that's okay. It doesn't work for me to stay up past 11pm nor does it work for me to explain myself or to be annoyed that my partner comes to bed during social occasions anywhere from 2-5am sometimes waking me up. I'm also noticing/exploring my emotions after listening to Hidden Brain - Where do feelings come from? Featuring Lisa Feldman Barrett and her book on the topic "How emotion's are made". She has demonstrated in her research that emotions are constructions that our brains create to guide our actions and explain how we're feeling in a specific situation. Either way I'm also focusing more on my health and to simply be :)
Ooo thank you for the very specific podcast episode share, Lia! It sounds like one I'd be interested in listening to, so I appreciate that. And it sounds like you're really honouring yourself, both at bedtime and in the morning, which is beautiful to read!
Ha! I love the MP reference. Sometimes, I hold up my hand and say STOP. I too am a morning person and crave the quiet that it offers. I am fierce about my sleep, so it might seem boring and annoying to others. Most people in my life honor my choices and I am more resilient with sleep.
Samesies. Every year I want to stand on a soap box and yell to the world, “People, why are we forcing ourselves to be extra ambitious in THE HEART OF DEEP WINTER?” This timing makes no sense…
I'm new to Substack, reading, reading, trying to figure out what I'm doing. I feel the way you do, really gagging on all the New Years prompts. I feel rather cynical, jaded but there's just so much that like you said was never my idea in the first place. Another NI woman. LA
I wonder what *is* for you right now instead, LA? ☺️
I love this article. Thank you for articulating what I have been feeling but unable to put into words. I too am a project person and have been pushing myself into another one sooner than I have been ready to embrace.
Reading your words has helped me give myself permission to ease the foot off the gas peddle so the rest of me can catch up with myself :)
Ooo I love that visual, Vahljiet. Thank you for sharing! And happy slowing down ☺️
Three things immediately came to mind about what I’m noticing. First, my earache and whiplash flareups have been coinciding over the last two months. I haven’t been able to determine which is causing the other, something to continue paying attention too.
Second, my drinking barely exists anymore. It was never a goal, nor do I strive to be sober, I like how I feel without alcohol. But I also enjoy a delicious drink much like I do a decadent desert on occasion. I went to a Dry January tasting on the weekend (if it had been labeled nonalcoholic and held in May I would have been just as interested) and brought home a few nonalcoholic drinks for days I want something fancier than water or tea.
And third, like you, following through on an idea when it feels right tends to lead to “better” results (longevity). Cutting back on drinking has been a progression over ~6 years and has never had any sort of rules. Adding to my fitness routine started in the fall as preparation for a big audacious goal I have for later this year.
I agree with so much of what you’ve written and could chat on this topic forever. Congrats on the new name for your Substack! I am excited to see what comes from it this year.
Thank you for sharing all of this, Jodie! I actually love the convo around drinking less, but not necessarily feeling the need to be totally sober. I think that's a beautiful space to be able to occupy, and would love to see dialogue around that grow and continue to be normalized! Also: I can't help but be curious what your big audacious goal is! No need to share... but if you ever want to, I'd love to hear more!
This is me. My answer to "what is/are your NY resolution(s)?" has been the same for about five years now, and it's the only resolution I've ever made and kept: no more NY resolutions.
I do on occasion find a word that hits me well as I ponder things. One that seems to tie things together for me...like "create" has been rolling around in my head. In an encouraging way vs a goal or demand or expectation.
Mostly I like when you said this:
It's safe to be in-process.
Thank you for sharing your brain with us.
I'm with you, Kristin—lots of words have been popping up for me lately! "More" still feels like one I want to hold onto. "Generous" has been another. "Ambitious" surprised me, but feels true. And, it still doesn't feel like something I want to keep front and centre for an entire year. I'm just enjoying noticing them!
Love all of this, Cait. Cheering you on through your own unique process of beginning the year, your sobriety, and hoping you feel better soon!
Thank you so much, Holly!
Thank you for sharing this! I’ve been thinking about NY resolutions because of the onslaught of media around them and I just don’t feel like they align with me. If I want to set a goal, I want to set it then and not wait for some arbitrary date on a calendar. I love so much what you have shared. Thank you for being open with us!
Many miles apart and we are on the same wavelength Cait 🙃 I haven’t written in weeks as my entire family got sick around the middle of December and it has just been weeks of sickness. I am still not better 😩 Like you, I am really trying to focus on my health. I’ve got a post percolating about this and my aversion to all the resolution-setting that I’m just not keen on. NI for sure!
Hope you feel better soon Cait! 🩵 xx
I'm so sorry you were all sick over the holidays, friend! Tall Man + his kids are/were too. And I'm hearing similar stories from friends all around the world. This one is really making the rounds... hope you feel better soon too, and that you're able to ease into this year slowly! ❤️
Health? I learned a lot from the Substack writer, A Midwestern Doctor: The Forgotten Side of Medicine, particularly his take on COVID-19. You might want to check it out.
I can so relate to so much of what you share. I had this convo with a good friend the other day, and we made note that to start a new year in the middle of winter seems in opposition to the natural cycle of things. I think there is a lot to be said for paying attention to what's within rather than going with whatever everyone else is doing—something I am, for certain, doing as well.
"...paying attention to what's within rather than going with whatever everyone else is doing." Yes, yes, yes. You summed up my thoughts in a single sentence! Thanks for sharing, Cristina ☺️
I totally agree with the piece about paying attention. I think that the winter is the perfect time to get quiet and listen, instead of launching into a flurry of new habits. I think that is why so many resolutions fail by February. I am listening and noticing. Making notes and journaling my thoughts. I know It will come together as a clearer intention.
Hoorah, Cait! I literally wrote about the same feeling this week. I’m not feeling it either. I felt bad for saying it but I’m glad I did, and I’m glad you have too. Sending big love for your recovery to health soon! xxx
Thanks, friend! And I'm glad you wrote your piece! I always try to remember that if you're feeling/thinking about something, you're probably not alone ☺️
It's interesting how many people relate to this feeling. Me too!
Love this post! I'm paying attention to how I'm feeling physically. I was all set to do an activity challenge for the beginning of the year, but I injured my back on the first day of said challenge. I have to believe there's a lesson in there for me, about examining why I was setting the challenge, and if it was actually in alignment with my growth. It's been eye-opening journaling about it and giving myself the space and time to heal without beating myself up about not "achieving" that initial goal. Instead, what my body needed was a slow, comforting, and reflective January. So, that's what I'm having now ;-)
Love, love, love all of this. NOT the injury, of course. But the re-examination + new intentions that followed... sounds both self-aware + like great self-care, friend.
It is a new year, and I am tired too! I don't always feel like the New Year is the REAL new year. As I was a public school teacher for more than 27 years I always think of the fall as the start of the year. The winter solstice seems more the turn of the year for me now than the first of January.
I read your book, Adventures in Opting Out, when it was first released in less than 24 hours but when you mentioned it today I called it back up on the kindle and read the beginning section again about your decision process. (Thank you for referencing it!) It was what I needed to read today.
I too have moved more times than I would like to count. SO much of your writing resonates with me. I also have made decisions in my life that others labeled as brave and I didn't feel brave at all.
All of this to say, thank you for being real with your writing. It makes a difference and I appreciate you!
Thank you for such a kind and generous comment, Tammy! It means a lot, especially these days, as I'm continuing to figure out what's next for me. Also, I get the same feeling at the start of every school year. Maybe because I give myself extended time off during the same breaks as what kids get too, haha. I'm a numbers person, and I do like tracking certain things (like money stuff) Jan 1-Dec 31 simply from a data standpoint 😂 but the date doesn't have any significance for me beyond that!
In the last year, after a break up, I proclaimed to my cat (as I was suddenly living alone), that I was going to become a student of my own energy. Instead of forcing, I want to follow and see where I take me.
Through this experiment, I’ve found a new version of discipline in myself that feels really GOOD. I’ve always resisted discipline, routine, structure. But now that I’ve found my own version of it, instead of trying to self-impose someone else’s recommendation, it feels like a breath of fresh air. Swimming downstream. Having the wind at my back.
What would we all discover if we looked inward for answers instead of outward more often?
Thank you for putting words to exactly what I’ve been feeling myself!
"What would be all discover if we looked inward for answers instead of outward more often?" And thank YOU for a beautiful reflection question, Leona! And for sharing some of your journey with us here ☺️
I instantly thought of "The knights who say NI!". I have noticed I AM definitely a morning person so that time between 5:30-8:30 has become very special to me. Seeing the morning sun slowly waking up and touching everything to the morning dew sparkling in the wind. Being pushed to stay up late doesn't serve me and my sleep routine is important to me. I'm paying attention to when this happens, verbally expressing that I am going to bed and that's okay. It doesn't work for me to stay up past 11pm nor does it work for me to explain myself or to be annoyed that my partner comes to bed during social occasions anywhere from 2-5am sometimes waking me up. I'm also noticing/exploring my emotions after listening to Hidden Brain - Where do feelings come from? Featuring Lisa Feldman Barrett and her book on the topic "How emotion's are made". She has demonstrated in her research that emotions are constructions that our brains create to guide our actions and explain how we're feeling in a specific situation. Either way I'm also focusing more on my health and to simply be :)
Totally thought of Monty Python here too! :)
Ooo thank you for the very specific podcast episode share, Lia! It sounds like one I'd be interested in listening to, so I appreciate that. And it sounds like you're really honouring yourself, both at bedtime and in the morning, which is beautiful to read!
Ha! I love the MP reference. Sometimes, I hold up my hand and say STOP. I too am a morning person and crave the quiet that it offers. I am fierce about my sleep, so it might seem boring and annoying to others. Most people in my life honor my choices and I am more resilient with sleep.
I'm so very grateful for your words, Cait - exactly what I need right now.....
Wishing you all the very best
Chel in Tasmania, Australia
Thank you, Chel! ☺️
Samesies. Every year I want to stand on a soap box and yell to the world, “People, why are we forcing ourselves to be extra ambitious in THE HEART OF DEEP WINTER?” This timing makes no sense…
No sense at all. I can see why people would at least *reflect* during this season... but I don't want to do that either 😂
Can I join you on your soapbox? I get tired of explaining my lack of drive to others.