Is money boring now?
Thoughts from my search for interesting personal finance content in my late-30s
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Hi friend,
As you know, I’m in the early days of a new yearlong experiment in which I’m committed to reading 1 new personal finance book each month—largely from writers based in the UK so I can learn more about how things work here, but also from authors around the world so I can see how money is being talked about in different countries right now.
I’m only a month (and 1.5 books) into this challenge, and I have to be honest with you: so far, I’m underwhelmed.
The first book I started reading is one that was recently published in the UK. I had zero expectations going into it, but felt excited to start this experiment with something new and fresh. I cracked it open with a pen to take notes in the margins. Eight pages in, the first thing I wrote was: Who is this book for!? There was a chapter about work and changing careers, which made me think it could be for people my age (late-30s). Then a chapter on money and relationships, which had potential but then randomly revealed an extreme judgment on couples who keep their finances separate. (Apparently, this means we are “hiding” our money.) In the next chapter, budgeting tips for students!?
I kept writing the same question on different pages. Then I tried to shift focus and pay attention to other things: like how passive the language was (in terms of giving any advice); how it was all loose statements with zero facts; and how the author seemed to be afraid to have an opinion (aside from the odd judgment). I wondered if that was simply the author’s voice, or if it could be a cultural thing I might find in future books written by UK authors (happy to say: this is not true). I also wondered how the book would conclude… so I just skipped to the end and realized the summary was enough. In the end, I decided to stop reading at page 70, because I still couldn’t answer my first question.
Because I didn’t finish it, I won’t write a full review on this book. It needed a better editor. And both the author and editor needed to know who the audience was. It certainly wasn’t me. But it left me wondering: which books will be for me? What kind of content am I looking for?
Who am I, as a consumer—and creator—of personal finance content today?
I’ve been reflecting on who I was, when I first started writing about money 14 years ago. I was 25 years old, living in Victoria, BC, Canada (the third most expensive city to live in the country1), was earning $50,000/year at a full-time job with the provincial government, had $30,000 CAD in consumer debt, $0 in cash savings and maybe $5,000-7,000 in retirement savings (pension contributions via my government job). I was at the very beginning of my personal finance journey. From 25-29, my only two financial goals were to (1) pay off my debt and (2) start saving. I also did the shopping ban during this time.
I wrote about all of this on my blog, Blonde on a Budget. That’s also when I started picking up freelance writing work, editing work, and ultimately got a full-time job as the managing editor of a financial startup in Toronto. But I was also consuming a lot of content on those two topics (debt + savings). And in the beginning, I didn’t have much of an internal filter for what felt good and what didn’t feel good to consume.
As an example, the first person I started learning from was an author/TV show host who used shame as their main tactic for getting you to “change your ways.” This makes me sad to reflect on now, because I already had enough shame about my debt/finances and it likely did more harm—especially because I looked up to this person and later even became friends with them. (Putting people on a pedestal—aka, above me—was a pattern for me, and resulted in many unhealthy relationship dynamics.) I don’t think this means they were a bad person, but they were part of a generation that thought shame was The Way to motivate people. It is not. But that’s where my personal finance education began.
Thankfully, all the work I started doing in the personal finance world opened my eyes to other ways of thinking, and I was asked if I wanted to co-curate all the content for a site called Rockstar Finance (RIP). For the three years J$ and I worked together, I was scanning the titles of 1,500+ pieces of content/week and basically consuming everything! This is where I really started to develop my own filter, and learned what kinds of content I liked (and didn’t like) and why. I didn’t have the final say on everything we shared, but my thoughts and opinions were valued. This is also when I started to create and share more ideas of my own, like the Mindful Budgeting planners (a shame-free planner to help you simply start paying attention to your money) and, of course, my two books (ADVENTURES IN OPTING OUT offering the more open and nuanced approach of the two).
We stopped working on Rockstar Finance in January 2018, and I stopped blogging altogether in the summer of that same year, after an extreme case of burnout that I wasn’t able to talk about at the time. So I’ve been out of the “consume lots of personal finance content” game for 5+ years. Based on what I’ve been finding, some things are the same (for better or worse, much of the same “fundamental” basics and strategies are still being shared), and some things are different, like:
who is creating content: there are more voices and more identities represented across all channels (love this)
what’s being shared: more depth/understanding of how our backgrounds and parts of our identities and our mental health all play a role in how we manage our finances (love this)
and how it’s being shared: social media (don’t love this lol).
It’s been fun to search for new personal finance content. And, the more content I consume, the more I’m noticing: I have some very strong feelings about what I’m finding. To be specific, it’s becoming clear what I do NOT like.
I seem to have an aversion to the following things:
rules/models for how you “should” budget (example: as soon as a person/company tries to sell me on the 50/30/20 model, I’m out)
the words “needs/wants” (also “essentials/non-essentials,” which is language I actually used to differentiate things I spent money on during the shopping ban but am not a fan of now)
any content that doesn’t even attempt to be inclusive/thinks that everyone should be able to follow the same advice (both broadly and personally. The two parts of my identity where I feel this the most: being a woman + being child-free by choice. I wonder how you experience this?)
money personality labels (gimmicky and the labels often feel more shameful than supportive)
sorry/not sorry to say: the phrase “money mindset” kind of makes me want to 🤢 (I actually find this one super fascinating, because logically I understand we all have mindsets based on underlying experiences and beliefs. I probably don’t like it, because it’s so commonly linked to my next point…)
I know financial scarcity is very real, but I don’t find value in what is apparently the opposite of that: “abundance” (and to that end: “manifestation.”) These ideas do not resonate for me—at all. They aren’t practical, and are often sold by people with zero financial education or credentials (two things I value)
and for that same reason, I will not follow online financial influencers. Full stop. I will read blogs/Substacks, subscribe to newsletters, listen to podcasts, watch videos and buy books. But I will not follow a “finfluencer” on social media. (I can write more about this in the future, if you want my thoughts, but that video by Lindsay Bryan-Podvin pretty much sums it up.)
It feels important to say: just because these words/ideas don’t resonate for me, I don’t think they are all bad! It just means… they don’t work for me. They don’t align with my values, or my beliefs/opinions, or the way my mind/body works. And knowing what doesn’t work for me helps me weed through all the possible content that’s out there so I can find more of what does.
I just… haven’t found much of whatever I’m looking for yet.
A question I’ve been asking myself recently is: what stage of life am I in today? There are many ways to answer that, but when I relate it to my money, here’s what’s true for me right now:
I’m 38 years old, I live in the North of England (one of the most affordable parts of the UK2), I’m self-employed and my income fluctuates (always went up, but has gone down since the pandemic), have a little bit in cash savings and $100,000+ CAD in retirement savings (fluctuates based on what the market is doing). I have written and worked as an editor for dozens of publications, banks, and fintech companies. I have also published two books.
I am probably somewhere in the middle of my personal finance education and journey. Beyond not needing the basics, I also don’t need emotional validation anymore or any inspiration to “change my ways.” I have a system that works for me. I’m insured in all the ways I want to be. And I know exactly what I need to change in my financial situation at all times (currently: income). I don’t know everything about personal finance, but I have learned a lot—and, I’ve been through enough ups and downs with it that I no longer feel desperate during the down times (the way I did when I was 25). I trust myself. And, I look at the balance of my accounts every day.
I’m also in the middle of figuring out what this next chapter of my life might look like. I’m new to the UK (and am having to start from scratch with building credit, saving, investing, etc.) but know I want to stay here (this feels new, after years of being nomadic). I have a partner who I plan to do life with, but we live separately and don’t have plans to change that anytime soon. I’m a renter who might want to buy a home one day (but am not saving for it yet). I don’t have kids (by choice, though I do have some in my life) and don’t need to build generational wealth. But I would like to make sure I set myself up and know I can contribute to our life together in the future. And I definitely want to make a new will this year.
When I look at this, it feels dramatically different from where I started. I have done a lot of work (on a practical level and in therapy) to get to a place where I can say all of this with confidence. And, it also seems a little… boring!? At least, when you compare it to the personal finance content that “does well.” Things like debt payoff stories (which I love, I just don’t need anymore) or investing strategies (I’m a set-it-and-forget-it kind of person). Or the big ideas on how to earn more, get rich, retire early, and so on. Also, anything that is super controversial. That’s not me, and it’s not what I’m interested in consuming content about either.
I like my simple life. I like my little house in my little town in the UK. I like my partnership. And I like earning enough to live how I want to today, while also trying to take care of my future self. It might seem boring, compared to some of the flashier accounts and topics being discussed out there… but I wonder if this is just what happens, when you get to a certain point in life. When you know who you are and you’re just in the swing of things. Another thought: it might also feel boring because money doesn’t activate my nervous system the way it used to. None of this is bad. But “boring” content doesn’t feel easy to find either.
I’m going to stop calling it boring now, because the reality is: when I find content I like, I EAT IT UP. The one thing that has always interested me: personal stories about the ways we manage our everyday spending decisions and finances, especially in relationships (romantic and otherwise). Stories that reflect how we feel about money—and why. I’ve always been most curious about what’s happening under the surface. I’m especially curious about how trauma impacts our relationship with money (and am interested in taking this course, though any books on money + trauma might be good enough). After moving to a new country, I now find myself curious about how money works in even more countries. And outside of enjoying personal stories, I’m interested in learning from financial therapists (any recos!?).
I’m sharing all of this, so you know what you will and won’t find me writing about here. I’m a practical person who is curious about the emotional + tangible combination of how we manage our everyday finances—all around the world. Maybe what I have to say will resonate for you, or maybe our lives/interests/beliefs are different enough that our paths will start to diverge here—and that’s ok!
My search for personal finance content that interests me continues… I wonder what you might find on your own.
I’m curious: which money-related topics/stories do you find yourself drawn to? And what do you feel an aversion to?
PS - I might feel bored as a consumer, but I feel alive as a creator and editor.
https://creditcardgenius.ca/blog/most-expensive-cities-canada
https://www.zoopla.co.uk/discover/featured-homes/top-10-most-affordable-places-to-live/
I’m interested in stories about people working towards less than more. Instead of trying to find out how to make the most money, they search towards getting meaning out of life other ways. At the same time, one can’t live without money so I’m interested in that balance between figuring out how to live a “meaningful” (I know that means so many different things) life without being focused on having the largest house, the newest fanciest car, the expensive purse, etc. I want to work less and enjoy life more yet I must have a job to pay for all the things and especially in America, you have to have a full time job to have healthcare but I know people figure out ways around this!
I love love love reading these newsletters! This was NOT boring to read, and I really appreciated the list of things you have an aversion to - especially the part about "abundance" and "manifestation". There's way too much content out there along those themes and I find them incredibly unhelpful. Here for the (non)-boring, practical and useful content that incorporates interesting personal stories that I can relate to (or can contrast my current stage in life against - also helpful!).