What being a mindful consumer means to me
And what I want to explore here
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Hi friend,
I’ve been doing a little re-introduction series this week! Publishing three posts with updated perspectives on three topics I used to write about many moons ago. These are the three topics I was/am probably most well-known for, but have definitely shifted some of my views on as I’ve gotten older—and I have to say, it has felt incredibly freeing to share more about what’s true for me now.
First, we revisited the topic of debt, in which I shared that I don’t live debt-free all the time and imagine I’ll use debt (aka borrow money) many times in my future. My hope with this post was twofold: 1) to remove any idea you might have about my finances and to clarify my position on debt, and 2) to remove some shame by saying: having debt doesn’t make you a bad person, the same way not having debt doesn’t make you a good person, which are two messages the original personal finance experts all loved preaching.
On Wednesday, we revisited my experience with decluttering and discussed what I think about minimalism today. (And what it means to you! I haven’t gotten through all the comments yet, but am enjoying reading them.) With this one, I wanted to set expectations for anyone who comes here after reading THE YEAR OF LESS thinking I might have more to say on those two topics. I do not. That was an experiment I did, and is not the business I am in.
But there is one thing I’ll be happy to write more about in the future—probably extensively. It’s part of the second-half (and perhaps biggest half) of the experiment outlined in TYOL. At the same time that I decluttered my belongings, I also chose to not shop for two years. This is when I started calling myself a “mindful consumer.”
At the time, it felt like the simplest way to describe the shift I was trying to make internally: going from being a binge consumer of everything, to trying to be a more mindful consumer instead. Since writing TYOL, my views on mindful consumption have really expanded—and it continues to be something I try to learn more and think deeply about (because it does require some deep thinking). I’d like to share a summary of my thoughts today, so you know what I’m interested in personally and what I might write more about in the future. I’ll start by sharing why I came up with my own definition of the term…
Mindful consumption vs. mindful consumerism
There’s a general understanding that mindful consumption = being mindful about what you buy. It’s often included as part of the minimalism conversation, and goes with the idea of living with less. And it’s being talked about more and more, not just as something that might help us as individuals (including reducing clutter and stress, and saving us money) but as an antidote to mass consumption and how it is hurting other people and our planet. The University of British Columbia actually published its own Mindful Consumption Guide, which says:
Mindful consumption refers to being conscious about your choices as a consumer. In other words, it means thinking carefully about the consequences of your actions as a consumer. Applying mindful consumption to your life choices allows you to reduce issues like waste, pollution, GHG emissions, and unfair labour practices.
Basically, the current conversation around mindful consumption is about how we’ve been buying too much stuff, wasting a lot of money on things we probably don’t need, and using up nonrenewable resources, all while not knowing who is behind it (including who makes it all). This definition asks us to stop being detached from this process, and become more aware of how it all works and the impacts of each stage. It asks us to know what’s true of the products we buy, or amount of energy we use, and to consider if there are other options.
This definition of mindful consumption is an important shift to make, and way to live, but it’s not the phrase I would use. To me, this is mindful consumerism.
I have more I’d like to say on this in the future—including the fact that while I believe it’s important to practice mindful consumerism, it’s also an imperfect system (especially if you buy less “stuff” but still invest in the stock market, which I DO! and have feelings about, but will probably continue doing for the foreseeable future! it’s complicated!)—and therefore, not something we should put ourselves on pedestals for. (I’m wary of anyone who claims they are a perfectly ethical consumer or expert on conscious consumerism.) These are big topics, so we’ll come back to them another day…
For this post, I just wanted to make this distinction. If consumerism itself is the process of buying goods and services (and using energy) beyond what we need to survive, the current definition of mindful consumption (aka mindful consumerism) asks us to be more mindful about how we participate in those processes.
But as humans, we consume A LOT more than just goods and services and energy, and for many (sometimes complicated or even inexplicable) reasons… and that’s something I am curious about.
What being a mindful consumer means to me
In TYOL, I wrote about not just changing my relationship with shopping, but also my relationships with alcohol and entertainment. (And I touched on food/weight, but honestly wish I hadn’t, and would be happy to never talk about it again.) Alcohol and entertainment (things like TV, social media, etc.) were two other things I used to binge. I wasn’t an addict. But I was a mindless consumer of both, and often binge consumed them when I was having a hard time. Aka, I didn’t want to (or was disocciated and couldn’t) feel my feelings and binge consuming was one of my coping mechanisms.
Shopping was another one of my coping mechanisms. Although, when I look back, I can honestly say that I wasn’t a huge shopper per se. It’s more like I was a binge spender. I didn’t just waste money buying a few extra things here and there. I would also do things like buy rounds of drinks for my friends (never at the start of the night, but after I’d gotten drunk and didn’t want anyone to stop drinking with me or have the night end). I could not afford to do this. But when I was in a sh*tty place, I just did… and it cost me more than the bill.
One definition for the word consumer is: a person who purchases goods and services for personal use. This is probably what most people think of, when they hear the word. It’s also something many of us don’t want to be described as. We aren’t just consumers out in the world doing what capitalism wants us to. We are humans!
But another definition is: a person or thing that eats or uses something. This is the one I think of, when I talk about being a mindful consumer. As a human, you are a consumer, because you are naturally taking things in all the time. And in my opinion, this goes beyond just what we eat and use.
Things we consume (and can be more mindful about):
what we buy/use (this is what I’d call mindful consumerism)
energy/natural resources
anything we put into our bodies
content (entertainment and information)
technology
culture (everywhere)
conversations (and the people we connect with/have relationships with)
environments/spaces we inhabit (outdoors, indoors, at home, in businesses, at work, etc.)
The list could go on.
By my definition, a mindful consumer = a person who is trying to pay attention to everything they consume. Or more simply put, a person who is trying to pay attention to what they are paying attention to. It’s a little meta, I know. But being mindful helps you stay aware and make more intentional choices, which will have an impact on you and everyone around you. And understanding the why behind it all is a key part of the process.
A mindful consumer = a person who is trying to pay attention to everything they consume. Or more simply put, a person who is trying to pay attention to what they are paying attention to.
Before challenging myself to consume less/live differently, I didn’t know why I was always in debt or why I got blackout drunk all the time. But it’s not surprising to me that after I paid off my debt, quit drinking (11 years ago) and did the shopping ban, my anxiety skyrocketed. All my coping mechanisms were gone. I was left with myself and with every challenging thought and feeling I had. This is when and why I finally started going to therapy, which is something I’m a huge advocate for. I don’t believe we can restrict ourselves or declutter our way out of our problems. I believe there’s often something more happening underneath, and it’s much more than an online content creator can help you with.
Unfortunately, as many of us know, therapy isn’t always accessible. But I do believe we can make significant changes without it. I’m not saying it’s easy. At an event I did a couple months ago, someone in the audience asked how I coped without spending/drinking during the shopping ban. I told him I cried a lot. That it was the first year I’d ever had to sit with all of my feelings and anxiety and grief. It was a really hard and sad year, at times. This isn’t the simple or fun or sellable answer. But it’s the most honest one I can give.
Without extra support, I still believe we can do some of this work and healing ourselves, by sitting with difficult feelings and being curious about what’s coming up for us. We can ask ourselves questions every day, and spend time reflecting on what feels true for us. This is part of being a mindful consumer, too.
I am endlessly curious about what we consume, how we consume it, why we consume it, how much of it we consume… and also, how it shapes us, how it impacts the way we show up in the world, how it might affect our finances (or how our financial decisions affect other things), and more. On my own journey, I started with some of the most obvious things: like what I used to buy/spend money on, or what I used to drink/get high with. But I find I’m more curious about things like culture, content, conversations and our connections. What am I consuming? Why? Who am I consuming from? Why? How it is shaping my thoughts/beliefs? How does it impact the way I feel? Why am I consuming the things I’m consuming? And who would I be, if I wasn’t consuming this stuff?
These are big questions (and can quickly get existential!), but they are ones I love asking. Mindful consumerism is one part of this work, and it’s a topic I’m happy to explore a little here and there. But when you see the name of this publication, now you will have a better understanding of what being a “mindful consumer” means to me. I’m a human who is naturally consuming things every single day… and I love looking at how it impacts me and the why behind it all, so I can try to be a little more mindful. Or at the very least, to understand myself a little more.
No questions for you, at the end of this one. Just a big thank you for reading through this series. If there’s anything you want to reflect on or share, I’d love to read what feels true for you, friend.
xx Cait
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I love this distinction. I also want add that something that feels hard about this type of conversation is the moral aspect of it all. The sticky question of: are you a bad person if you can’t afford to buy all organic or reusable cleaning stuff etc or are in a time of life where you need easier answers? To me, the compassionate answer is definitely not, that person is just doing the best they can. However, it can feel easy to have the all or nothing mindset. I think this is being talked about more, but it still feels sticky.
I was particularly struck by complicated relationship with the systems we have (free market and the stock market). I sit with some of these too but as I plan for future me - don’t see away around the latter. Especially as Simone who is self-employed and doesn’t want to work forever.
As I am doing my own inner work - I have found myself engaging in escape behaviours too. Finding the balance is sitting with the feelings and not getting stuck with them is very hard. I had a very traumatic experience about 6 months ago and my therapist actually advised me to sit with it to a point but to allow my brain to escape from it (we came up with healthier for me ways to escape it). I found that very interesting. I think the going in and out and having a mindful plan for facing the discomfort (which could be seen as consuming it) - very helpful.
Thank you for such a thoughtful post.